{"id":149,"date":"2021-05-18T11:22:53","date_gmt":"2021-05-18T15:22:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.ryerson.ca\/awakening\/?post_type=chapter&p=149"},"modified":"2022-02-01T11:22:21","modified_gmt":"2022-02-01T16:22:21","slug":"36","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/chapter\/36\/","title":{"raw":"Chapter XXXVI","rendered":"Chapter XXXVI"},"content":{"raw":"There was a garden out in the suburbs; a small, leafy corner, with a few green tables under the orange trees. An old cat slept all day on the stone step in the sun, and an old mulatresse<\/i> slept her idle hours away in her chair at the open window, till some one happened to knock on one of the green tables. She had milk and cream cheese to sell, and bread and butter. There was no one who could make such excellent coffee or fry a chicken so golden brown as she.\r\n\r\nThe place was too modest to attract the attention of people of fashion, and so quiet as to have escaped the notice of those in search of pleasure and dissipation. Edna had discovered it accidentally one day when the high-board gate stood ajar. She caught sight of a little green table, blotched with the checkered sunlight that filtered through the quivering leaves overhead. Within she had found the slumbering mulatresse<\/i>, the drowsy cat, and a glass of milk which reminded her of the milk she had tasted in Iberville.\r\n\r\nShe often stopped there during her perambulations; sometimes taking a book with her, and sitting an hour or two under the trees when she found the place deserted. Once or twice she took a quiet dinner there alone, having instructed Celestine beforehand to prepare no dinner at home. It was the last place in the city where she would have expected to meet any one she knew.\r\n\r\nStill she was not astonished when, as she was partaking of a modest dinner late in the afternoon, looking into an open book, stroking the cat, which had made friends with her\u2014she was not greatly astonished to see Robert come in at the tall garden gate.\r\n\r\n\u201cI am destined to see you only by accident,\u201d she said, shoving the cat off the chair beside her. He was surprised, ill at ease, almost embarrassed at meeting her thus so unexpectedly.\r\n\r\n\u201cDo you come here often?\u201d he asked.\r\n\r\n\u201cI almost live here,\u201d she said.\r\n\r\n\u201cI used to drop in very often for a cup of Catiche\u2019s good coffee. This is the first time since I came back.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cShe\u2019ll bring you a plate, and you will share my dinner. There\u2019s always enough for two\u2014even three.\u201d Edna had intended to be indifferent and as reserved as he when she met him; she had reached the determination by a laborious train of reasoning, incident to one of her despondent moods. But her resolve melted when she saw him before designing Providence had led him into her path.\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy have you kept away from me, Robert?\u201d she asked, closing the book that lay open upon the table.\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy are you so personal, Mrs. Pontellier? Why do you force me to idiotic subterfuges?\u201d he exclaimed with sudden warmth. \u201cI suppose there\u2019s no use telling you I\u2019ve been very busy, or that I\u2019ve been sick, or that I\u2019ve been to see you and not found you at home. Please let me off with any one of these excuses.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cYou are the embodiment of selfishness,\u201d she said. \u201cYou save yourself something\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2014but there is some selfish motive, and in sparing yourself you never consider for a moment what I think, or how I feel your neglect and indifference. I suppose this is what you would call unwomanly; but I have got into a habit of expressing myself. It doesn\u2019t matter to me, and you may think me unwomanly if you like.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cNo; I only think you cruel, as I said the other day. Maybe not intentionally cruel; but you seem to be forcing me into disclosures which can result in nothing; as if you would have me bare a wound for the pleasure of looking at it, without the intention or power of healing it.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cI\u2019m spoiling your dinner, Robert; never mind what I say. You haven\u2019t eaten a morsel.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cI only came in for a cup of coffee.\u201d His sensitive face was all disfigured with excitement.\r\n\r\n\u201cIsn\u2019t this a delightful place?\u201d she remarked. \u201cI am so glad it has never actually been discovered. It is so quiet, so sweet, here. Do you notice there is scarcely a sound to be heard? It\u2019s so out of the way; and a good walk from the car. However, I don\u2019t mind walking. I always feel so sorry for women who don\u2019t like to walk; they miss so much\u2014so many rare little glimpses of life; and we women learn so little of life on the whole.\r\n\r\n\u201cCatiche\u2019s coffee is always hot. I don\u2019t know how she manages it, here in the open air. Celestine\u2019s coffee gets cold bringing it from the kitchen to the dining-room. Three lumps! How can you drink it so sweet? Take some of the cress with your chop; it\u2019s so biting and crisp. Then there\u2019s the advantage of being able to smoke with your coffee out here. Now, in the city\u2014aren\u2019t you going to smoke?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cAfter a while,\u201d he said, laying a cigar on the table.\r\n\r\n\u201cWho gave it to you?\u201d she laughed.\r\n\r\n\u201cI bought it. I suppose I\u2019m getting reckless; I bought a whole box.\u201d She was determined not to be personal again and make him uncomfortable.\r\n\r\nThe cat made friends with him, and climbed into his lap when he smoked his cigar. He stroked her silky fur, and talked a little about her. He looked at Edna\u2019s book, which he had read; and he told her the end, to save her the trouble of wading through it, he said.\r\n\r\nAgain he accompanied her back to her home; and it was after dusk when they reached the little \u201cpigeon-house.\u201d She did not ask him to remain, which he was grateful for, as it permitted him to stay without the discomfort of blundering through an excuse which he had no intention of considering. He helped her to light the lamp; then she went into her room to take off her hat and to bathe her face and hands.\r\n\r\nWhen she came back Robert was not examining the pictures and magazines as before; he sat off in the shadow, leaning his head back on the chair as if in a reverie. Edna lingered a moment beside the table, arranging the books there. Then she went across the room to where he sat. She bent over the arm of his chair and called his name.\r\n\r\n\u201cRobert,\u201d she said, \u201care you asleep?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cNo,\u201d he answered, looking up at her.\r\n\r\nShe leaned over and kissed him\u2014a soft, cool, delicate kiss, whose voluptuous sting penetrated his whole being\u2014then she moved away from him. He followed, and took her in his arms, just holding her close to him. She put her hand up to his face and pressed his cheek against her own. The action was full of love and tenderness. He sought her lips again. Then he drew her down upon the sofa beside him and held her hand in both of his.\r\n\r\n\u201cNow you know,\u201d he said, \u201cnow you know what I have been fighting against since last summer at Grand Isle; what drove me away and drove me back again.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy have you been fighting against it?\u201d she asked. Her face glowed with soft lights.\r\n\r\n\u201cWhy? Because you were not free; you were L\u00e9once Pontellier\u2019s wife. I couldn\u2019t help loving you if you were ten times his wife; but so long as I went away from you and kept away I could help telling you so.\u201d She put her free hand up to his shoulder, and then against his cheek, rubbing it softly. He kissed her again. His face was warm and flushed.\r\n\r\n\u201cThere in Mexico I was thinking of you all the time, and longing for you.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cBut not writing to me,\u201d she interrupted.\r\n\r\n\u201cSomething put into my head that you cared for me; and I lost my senses. I forgot everything but a wild dream of your some way becoming my wife.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cYour wife!\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cReligion, loyalty, everything would give way if only you cared.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cThen you must have forgotten that I was L\u00e9once Pontellier\u2019s wife.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cOh! I was demented, dreaming of wild, impossible things, recalling men who had set their wives free, we have heard of such things.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cYes, we have heard of such things.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cI came back full of vague, mad intentions. And when I got here\u2014\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cWhen you got here you never came near me!\u201d She was still caressing his cheek.\r\n\r\n\u201cI realized what a cur I was to dream of such a thing, even if you had been willing.\u201d\r\n\r\nShe took his face between her hands and looked into it as if she would never withdraw her eyes more. She kissed him on the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, and the lips.\r\n\r\n\u201cYou have been a very, very foolish boy, wasting your time dreaming of impossible things when you speak of Mr. Pontellier setting me free! I am no longer one of Mr. Pontellier\u2019s possessions to dispose of or not. I give myself where I choose. If he were to say, \u2018Here, Robert, take her and be happy; she is yours,\u2019 I should laugh at you both.\u201d\r\n\r\nHis face grew a little white. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d he asked.\r\n\r\nThere was a knock at the door. Old Celestine came in to say that Madame Ratignolle\u2019s servant had come around the back way with a message that Madame had been taken sick and begged Mrs. Pontellier to go to her immediately.\r\n\r\n\u201cYes, yes,\u201d said Edna, rising; \u201cI promised. Tell her yes\u2014to wait for me. I\u2019ll go back with her.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cLet me walk over with you,\u201d offered Robert.\r\n\r\n\u201cNo,\u201d she said; \u201cI will go with the servant.\u201d She went into her room to put on her hat, and when she came in again she sat once more upon the sofa beside him. He had not stirred. She put her arms about his neck.\r\n\r\n\u201cGood-by, my sweet Robert. Tell me good-by.\u201d He kissed her with a degree of passion which had not before entered into his caress, and strained her to him.\r\n\r\n\u201cI love you,\u201d she whispered, \u201conly you; no one but you. It was you who awoke me last summer out of a life-long, stupid dream. Oh! you have made me so unhappy with your indifference. Oh! I have suffered, suffered! Now you are here we shall love each other, my Robert. We shall be everything to each other. Nothing else in the world is of any consequence. I must go to my friend; but you will wait for me? No matter how late; you will wait for me, Robert?\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cDon\u2019t go; don\u2019t go! Oh! Edna, stay with me,\u201d he pleaded. \u201cWhy should you go? Stay with me, stay with me.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cI shall come back as soon as I can; I shall find you here.\u201d She buried her face in his neck, and said good-by again. Her seductive voice, together with his great love for her, had enthralled his senses, had deprived him of every impulse but the longing to hold her and keep her.","rendered":"

There was a garden out in the suburbs; a small, leafy corner, with a few green tables under the orange trees. An old cat slept all day on the stone step in the sun, and an old mulatresse<\/i> slept her idle hours away in her chair at the open window, till some one happened to knock on one of the green tables. She had milk and cream cheese to sell, and bread and butter. There was no one who could make such excellent coffee or fry a chicken so golden brown as she.<\/p>\n

The place was too modest to attract the attention of people of fashion, and so quiet as to have escaped the notice of those in search of pleasure and dissipation. Edna had discovered it accidentally one day when the high-board gate stood ajar. She caught sight of a little green table, blotched with the checkered sunlight that filtered through the quivering leaves overhead. Within she had found the slumbering mulatresse<\/i>, the drowsy cat, and a glass of milk which reminded her of the milk she had tasted in Iberville.<\/p>\n

She often stopped there during her perambulations; sometimes taking a book with her, and sitting an hour or two under the trees when she found the place deserted. Once or twice she took a quiet dinner there alone, having instructed Celestine beforehand to prepare no dinner at home. It was the last place in the city where she would have expected to meet any one she knew.<\/p>\n

Still she was not astonished when, as she was partaking of a modest dinner late in the afternoon, looking into an open book, stroking the cat, which had made friends with her\u2014she was not greatly astonished to see Robert come in at the tall garden gate.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am destined to see you only by accident,\u201d she said, shoving the cat off the chair beside her. He was surprised, ill at ease, almost embarrassed at meeting her thus so unexpectedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you come here often?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI almost live here,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to drop in very often for a cup of Catiche\u2019s good coffee. This is the first time since I came back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019ll bring you a plate, and you will share my dinner. There\u2019s always enough for two\u2014even three.\u201d Edna had intended to be indifferent and as reserved as he when she met him; she had reached the determination by a laborious train of reasoning, incident to one of her despondent moods. But her resolve melted when she saw him before designing Providence had led him into her path.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy have you kept away from me, Robert?\u201d she asked, closing the book that lay open upon the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you so personal, Mrs. Pontellier? Why do you force me to idiotic subterfuges?\u201d he exclaimed with sudden warmth. \u201cI suppose there\u2019s no use telling you I\u2019ve been very busy, or that I\u2019ve been sick, or that I\u2019ve been to see you and not found you at home. Please let me off with any one of these excuses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are the embodiment of selfishness,\u201d she said. \u201cYou save yourself something\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2014but there is some selfish motive, and in sparing yourself you never consider for a moment what I think, or how I feel your neglect and indifference. I suppose this is what you would call unwomanly; but I have got into a habit of expressing myself. It doesn\u2019t matter to me, and you may think me unwomanly if you like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I only think you cruel, as I said the other day. Maybe not intentionally cruel; but you seem to be forcing me into disclosures which can result in nothing; as if you would have me bare a wound for the pleasure of looking at it, without the intention or power of healing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m spoiling your dinner, Robert; never mind what I say. You haven\u2019t eaten a morsel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI only came in for a cup of coffee.\u201d His sensitive face was all disfigured with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t this a delightful place?\u201d she remarked. \u201cI am so glad it has never actually been discovered. It is so quiet, so sweet, here. Do you notice there is scarcely a sound to be heard? It\u2019s so out of the way; and a good walk from the car. However, I don\u2019t mind walking. I always feel so sorry for women who don\u2019t like to walk; they miss so much\u2014so many rare little glimpses of life; and we women learn so little of life on the whole.<\/p>\n

\u201cCatiche\u2019s coffee is always hot. I don\u2019t know how she manages it, here in the open air. Celestine\u2019s coffee gets cold bringing it from the kitchen to the dining-room. Three lumps! How can you drink it so sweet? Take some of the cress with your chop; it\u2019s so biting and crisp. Then there\u2019s the advantage of being able to smoke with your coffee out here. Now, in the city\u2014aren\u2019t you going to smoke?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter a while,\u201d he said, laying a cigar on the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho gave it to you?\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI bought it. I suppose I\u2019m getting reckless; I bought a whole box.\u201d She was determined not to be personal again and make him uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

The cat made friends with him, and climbed into his lap when he smoked his cigar. He stroked her silky fur, and talked a little about her. He looked at Edna\u2019s book, which he had read; and he told her the end, to save her the trouble of wading through it, he said.<\/p>\n

Again he accompanied her back to her home; and it was after dusk when they reached the little \u201cpigeon-house.\u201d She did not ask him to remain, which he was grateful for, as it permitted him to stay without the discomfort of blundering through an excuse which he had no intention of considering. He helped her to light the lamp; then she went into her room to take off her hat and to bathe her face and hands.<\/p>\n

When she came back Robert was not examining the pictures and magazines as before; he sat off in the shadow, leaning his head back on the chair as if in a reverie. Edna lingered a moment beside the table, arranging the books there. Then she went across the room to where he sat. She bent over the arm of his chair and called his name.<\/p>\n

\u201cRobert,\u201d she said, \u201care you asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he answered, looking up at her.<\/p>\n

She leaned over and kissed him\u2014a soft, cool, delicate kiss, whose voluptuous sting penetrated his whole being\u2014then she moved away from him. He followed, and took her in his arms, just holding her close to him. She put her hand up to his face and pressed his cheek against her own. The action was full of love and tenderness. He sought her lips again. Then he drew her down upon the sofa beside him and held her hand in both of his.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you know,\u201d he said, \u201cnow you know what I have been fighting against since last summer at Grand Isle; what drove me away and drove me back again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy have you been fighting against it?\u201d she asked. Her face glowed with soft lights.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Because you were not free; you were L\u00e9once Pontellier\u2019s wife. I couldn\u2019t help loving you if you were ten times his wife; but so long as I went away from you and kept away I could help telling you so.\u201d She put her free hand up to his shoulder, and then against his cheek, rubbing it softly. He kissed her again. His face was warm and flushed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere in Mexico I was thinking of you all the time, and longing for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut not writing to me,\u201d she interrupted.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething put into my head that you cared for me; and I lost my senses. I forgot everything but a wild dream of your some way becoming my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour wife!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReligion, loyalty, everything would give way if only you cared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you must have forgotten that I was L\u00e9once Pontellier\u2019s wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh! I was demented, dreaming of wild, impossible things, recalling men who had set their wives free, we have heard of such things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, we have heard of such things.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI came back full of vague, mad intentions. And when I got here\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you got here you never came near me!\u201d She was still caressing his cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cI realized what a cur I was to dream of such a thing, even if you had been willing.\u201d<\/p>\n

She took his face between her hands and looked into it as if she would never withdraw her eyes more. She kissed him on the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, and the lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou have been a very, very foolish boy, wasting your time dreaming of impossible things when you speak of Mr. Pontellier setting me free! I am no longer one of Mr. Pontellier\u2019s possessions to dispose of or not. I give myself where I choose. If he were to say, \u2018Here, Robert, take her and be happy; she is yours,\u2019 I should laugh at you both.\u201d<\/p>\n

His face grew a little white. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

There was a knock at the door. Old Celestine came in to say that Madame Ratignolle\u2019s servant had come around the back way with a message that Madame had been taken sick and begged Mrs. Pontellier to go to her immediately.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, yes,\u201d said Edna, rising; \u201cI promised. Tell her yes\u2014to wait for me. I\u2019ll go back with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me walk over with you,\u201d offered Robert.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d she said; \u201cI will go with the servant.\u201d She went into her room to put on her hat, and when she came in again she sat once more upon the sofa beside him. He had not stirred. She put her arms about his neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood-by, my sweet Robert. Tell me good-by.\u201d He kissed her with a degree of passion which had not before entered into his caress, and strained her to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you,\u201d she whispered, \u201conly you; no one but you. It was you who awoke me last summer out of a life-long, stupid dream. Oh! you have made me so unhappy with your indifference. Oh! I have suffered, suffered! Now you are here we shall love each other, my Robert. We shall be everything to each other. Nothing else in the world is of any consequence. I must go to my friend; but you will wait for me? No matter how late; you will wait for me, Robert?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t go; don\u2019t go! Oh! Edna, stay with me,\u201d he pleaded. \u201cWhy should you go? Stay with me, stay with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI shall come back as soon as I can; I shall find you here.\u201d She buried her face in his neck, and said good-by again. Her seductive voice, together with his great love for her, had enthralled his senses, had deprived him of every impulse but the longing to hold her and keep her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":251,"menu_order":36,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[48],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-149","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry","chapter-type-numberless"],"part":3,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/149","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/251"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/149\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":232,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/149\/revisions\/232"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/3"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/149\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=149"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=149"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/awakening\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}