{"id":250,"date":"2023-04-20T19:33:26","date_gmt":"2023-04-20T23:33:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/chapter\/1-8-paired-singing\/"},"modified":"2023-06-28T16:41:40","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T20:41:40","slug":"1-8","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/chapter\/1-8\/","title":{"raw":"1.8 Paired Singing","rendered":"1.8 Paired Singing"},"content":{"raw":"<div class=\"1.8-paired-singing\">\r\n\r\n<strong>Learning Objectives:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>To weaken the literal meaning of stories and rules among participants<\/li>\r\n \t<li>To weaken the perceived barriers to more effective action among participants; and<\/li>\r\n \t<li>To encourage greater flexibility towards action among participants<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong style=\"text-align: initial;text-indent: 49pt;font-size: 1em\">Materials:<\/strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;text-indent: 49pt;font-size: 1em\"> Scrap paper and pens, a mindfulness bell, a watch\/clock for timing, Handout 1.8.1 - Cognitive Defusion Techniques<\/span>\r\n\r\n<strong>Time<\/strong> <strong>Required: <\/strong>45 minutes\r\n\r\n<hr \/>\r\n\r\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\"><span style=\"margin-left: 26pt\"><\/span>Activities &amp; Instructions<\/h2>\r\n\r\n<hr \/>\r\n\r\n<h5><strong>Setup:<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><em>Participants<\/em> <em>work<\/em> <em>in<\/em> <em>pairs.<\/em> <em>Participants<\/em> <em>move<\/em> <em>their<\/em> <em>chairs<\/em> <em>around<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>get<\/em> <em>into<\/em> <em>pairs,<\/em> <em>facing<\/em> <em>each<\/em> <em>other<\/em> <em>directly.<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>Co-facilitators<\/em> <em>walk<\/em> <em>around<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>observe<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>interactions<\/em> <em>in<\/em> <em>different<\/em><em> pairs.<\/em><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h5 class=\"import-Heading7\" style=\"text-align: center;margin-left: 42.25pt;margin-right: 48.2pt\"><strong>Instructions To Participants<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li><strong>Attentive Listening in Paired Sharing<\/strong><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<strong>Facilitator says,<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>\u201cThe next activity we are going to do is sharing stories. As we talked earlier, thoughts, feelings and labels can have a powerful hold on us when we are fused with them. We invite you to take a moment to think about one thing that you dislike about yourself, or a difficult area or experience in your life. Write a few words about this thought on a piece of paper.\u201d <em>(Pause for a minute to let participants write down their thoughts)<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cWe would like you to get into pairs. You can move your chairs around, so each pair has some space to engage in sharing. We invite you to sit face to face as close to each other as you feel comfortable.\u201d <em>(Pause until each pair has<\/em> <em>settled in their space.)<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cI will explain the activity first and then we will do it. In each pair, one of you will be the storyteller and the other person will be the listener. The storyteller will speak for 2 minutes while the listener listens. Then you will hear a bell. We will take a one-minute break, and we will then ask you to switch roles, so that the listener will become the storyteller and speak for 2 minutes while the other listens. Decide who will be the storyteller first. Storytellers, raise your hands so that we know that each pair is clear on who is going first.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cWhen it is your turn to speak, we invite you to tell your partner a story about something you do not like about yourself, or a difficult area or experience in your life. Share with him\/her\/them the suffering you have experienced. Share what you have written down about yourself. When you are the listener, your role is to listen without making any comment, gesture, or response, no verbal or non-verbal responses. You do not need to provide counselling or advice. Just maintain eye contact and listen attentively and compassionately.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cTo guide you along, I will be ringing the bell to prompt you about what to do next, so you do not need to remember all these steps. Any questions before we begin?\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>start<\/em> <strong><em>one-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cLet\u2019s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with your gentle gaze\u2026 Look at each other with compassion and appreciation, but do not make any comment, gesture or response. No nodding, no \u201chi ha\u201d, etc.\u201d <em>(Designate the co-facilitator to help with keeping time.)<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to begin a <\/em><strong><em>two-minute of sharing <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cThe first person to share can now tell your story to your partner \u2013 what you don\u2019t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to begin <\/em><strong><em>another minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying<\/em>, \u201cNow let\u2019s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. One of you just shared something personal. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong>rings the bell to begin a <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>sharing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow we will switch roles. The second person to share can now tell your story to your partner \u2013 what you don\u2019t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong>rings the bell to mark the <strong><em>final<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying<\/em> ,\u201cNow let\u2019s have a final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Both of you just shared something personal. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<ol start=\"2\">\r\n \t<li><strong>Paired Singing:<\/strong><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<strong>Facilitator says,<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><em>\u201c<\/em>We are now ready for the second part of the exercise! We will be doing something very similar to what you have just done. In the exact same sequence as before, we will ask you to connect with each other for a minute, followed by 2 minutes of sharing by the first person, then a minute of reconnection, switch roles for the other person to share for 2 minutes, and end with a final minute of reconnection. You will use the same story and even pretty much the same words. The only difference is that in sharing your story, we would invite you not to speak the story but <span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">to sing it. \u2018You - can - sing - it - to - any - tune - you \u2013 like\u2019 <\/span><em style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">(<\/em><strong style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\"><em>facilitator role models by singing this sentence<\/em><\/strong><em style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">). <\/em><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">You can pick any song or tune you like. You can even use the most common songs, e.g., children songs, birthday song, national anthem, etc. You may also rap. This is not a singing contest, but simply try sharing your story in a different way \u2014 a way that you would seldom use. We would encourage you to try singing it or rapping it! If you are really really stuck, you can also try retelling the story in an altered voice, e.g., imaginary cartoon character\u2019s high-pitch voice \u2026 or recite this story like an epic and ancient poem\u2026 or like a news anchor on TV, telling the story in the third-person... Any questions about this? \u2026.Ready? Let\u2019s start.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to start <\/em><strong><em>one-minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cLet\u2019s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with gentle gaze\u2026 Look at each other with compassion and appreciation\u2026\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <em>a<\/em> <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>singing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cThe first person to share can now sing your story to your partner!\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <strong><em>another<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> <em>\u201c<\/em>Now let\u2019s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <em>a<\/em> <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>singing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow we will switch roles. The second person to share can now sing your story to your partner!\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to mark the <\/em><strong><em>final minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cNow let\u2019s have this final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion. As this is the final step of this exercise, and this may be your only chance to have this opportunity to connect with your partner in this particular way in this particular moment, see if you can really treasure this final minute of connection with one another.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Facilitator<\/strong> <strong><em>closes<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>the<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>exercise<\/em><\/strong> <em>for<\/em> <em>debriefing<\/em> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow please thank your partner. Let us get back into the large group for debriefing.\u201d<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>Debriefing Questions<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<strong>Facilitator<\/strong> <strong>asks<\/strong> the participants after they regrouped into the large group:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><em>\u201cWhat<\/em> <em>was this experience like for <\/em><em>you?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>\u201cDid<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>feel<\/em> <em>any<\/em> <em>difference<\/em> <em>between<\/em> <em>telling<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story<\/em> <em>and<\/em> <em>singing<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>\u201cHow<\/em> <em>did singing your story change the<\/em> <em>experience of telling the story for <\/em><em>you?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>\u201cDid<\/em> <em>singing<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story<\/em> <em>change<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>way<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>felt<\/em> <em>about<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>negative<\/em> <em>thought<\/em> <em>or<\/em> <em>experience<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>were<\/em> <em>sharing<\/em> <em>from<\/em> <em>when<\/em> <em>you were talking about it?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Key Summary Points<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Internalized rules and stories that are about HIV or other stigma, or those that are about who we are, what is wrong with us or others, etc. can be powerful ideas and thoughts that influence our behaviour, especially when we are unaware of their influence and take them for granted as the reality or as unbreakable rules that we have to follow. (Fusion)<\/li>\r\n \t<li>We can free ourselves from fusing with these arbitrary rules by treating them as what they are \u2013 words and thoughts and stories \u2013 and use different ways such as singing to loosen their grip on us. We sometimes call this \u2018defusion\u2019 \u2013 which means getting unstuck from our thoughts. We do not have to take our thoughts so seriously. It is the opposite of \u2018fusion\u2019 \u2013 or getting stuck with our thoughts \u2013 even when it is harmful to us or others.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Today we explored singing to each other about our stories. There are many other ways we can practice \u201cdefusion\u201d \u2013 seeing our thoughts as thoughts, no matter how \u201ctrue\u201d they seem. <em>(Take-Away<\/em> <em>Activities<\/em> <em>1.8.1.<\/em>) It would be great if you can try out some of these other methods at home too.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>We can learn to see and appreciate ourselves for who we are as human beings and not our labels or stories, just as we can learn to look at others compassionately as fellow human beings, and not as their labels or stories we hear.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Sources:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Fung, K. P., &amp; Zurowski, M. (2011). ACT protocols for CHAMP Study. Toronto, ON: Community Alliance for Accessible Treatment.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Inspired by the idea, Create A Song, in , S. C., &amp; Smith, S. (2005). Get out of your mind and into your life (pp.80). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publication, Inc.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h1 class=\"page-break-before\">Handout 1.8.1 - Cognitive Defusion Techniques<\/h1>\r\nThese are some techniques to help us \u201cdefuse\u201d from our thoughts \u2013 to see thoughts as just thoughts \u2013 nothing more and nothing less - rather than being trapped and dictated by our thoughts.\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li><strong>The<\/strong> <strong>Mind:<\/strong> Treat \u201cthe mind\u201d as an external event, almost as a separate person, e.g., \u201cWell, there goes my mind again\u201d or \u201cMy mind is worrying again\u201d.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Thought<\/strong> <strong>Labelling: <\/strong>Label your thoughts as thoughts, e.g., \u201cI am having a thought that I will not be able to champion any change\u201d) or label the type of thought, e.g., \u201cI am having a judgment that my illness is too terrible to have,\u201d or \u201cI am having a prediction that people will not listen to me\u201d, etc.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Get<\/strong> <strong>off<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>\u201cBut\u201d!:<\/strong> Replace \u201cbut\u201d with \u201cand\u201d, e.g., \u201cI would like to speak out on stigma, but I may get nervous\u201d becomes \u201cI would like to speak out on stigma, and I may get nervous\u201d.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Use<\/strong> <strong>a<\/strong> <strong>variety<\/strong> <strong>of<\/strong> <strong>vocalizations: <\/strong>Say the thought very slowly, say it in a different voice, sing it, etc.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Thank<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>mind:<\/strong> Thank your mind when you notice it butting in with worries and judgments, e.g., \u201cThank you mind. You\u2019re doing a great job of scaring me today\u201d. This is not sarcasm\u2026after all, the mind is doing exactly what it was designed to do all of those thousands of years ago- \u201cproblem solve\u201d and avoid danger.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Say<\/strong> <strong>the<\/strong> <strong>thought<\/strong> <strong>out<\/strong> <strong>loud<\/strong> <strong>quickly<\/strong> <strong>and<\/strong> <strong>repeat<\/strong> <strong>it<\/strong> <strong>until<\/strong> <strong>it<\/strong> <strong>loses<\/strong> <strong>its<\/strong> <strong>meaning:<\/strong> e.g., I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless,......<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Imagine that thoughts are like Internet pop-up ads:<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>A ringing cell phone you can\u2019t turn off, e.g., \u201cHello. This is your mind speaking. Don\u2019t do too much because you are going to regret it\u201d, etc.).<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Clouds floating across the sky.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Leaves floating down a stream. You don\u2019t have to dive in. You can watch from a bridge.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>A waterfall. You\u2019re standing behind it, not under it.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Guests entering a hotel. You can be like the doorman: you greet the guests, but you don\u2019t follow them to their rooms.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Actors on a stage. You can watch the play; you don\u2019t need to get on stage and perform.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>A passing parade. You can watch the floats pass by. You don\u2019t have to climb on board.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Suitcases dropping onto a conveyor belt at the airport. You can watch them pass by, without having to pick them up.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<ol start=\"8\">\r\n \t<li><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Buying thoughts:\r\n<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Distinguish between thoughts that just occur and the thoughts that are believed \u2013 that you \u201cbuy into\u201d, e.g., \u201cI guess I\u2019m \u201cbuying\u201d the thought that I\u2019m hopeless\u201d).<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>And<\/strong> <strong>how<\/strong> <strong>has<\/strong> <strong>that<\/strong> <strong>worked<\/strong> <strong>for<\/strong> <strong>me?<\/strong> When you are buying a thought, back up for a moment and ask yourself, \u201cHow has that worked for me?\u201d and if it hasn\u2019t worked ask, \u201cWhich should I be guided by, my mind or my experience?\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Create<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>own<\/strong> <strong>defusion<\/strong> <strong>strategy!<\/strong><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"import-Normal\"><\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","rendered":"<div class=\"1.8-paired-singing\">\n<p><strong>Learning Objectives:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>To weaken the literal meaning of stories and rules among participants<\/li>\n<li>To weaken the perceived barriers to more effective action among participants; and<\/li>\n<li>To encourage greater flexibility towards action among participants<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong style=\"text-align: initial;text-indent: 49pt;font-size: 1em\">Materials:<\/strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;text-indent: 49pt;font-size: 1em\"> Scrap paper and pens, a mindfulness bell, a watch\/clock for timing, Handout 1.8.1 &#8211; Cognitive Defusion Techniques<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Time<\/strong> <strong>Required: <\/strong>45 minutes<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\"><span style=\"margin-left: 26pt\"><\/span>Activities &amp; Instructions<\/h2>\n<hr \/>\n<h5><strong>Setup:<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Participants<\/em> <em>work<\/em> <em>in<\/em> <em>pairs.<\/em> <em>Participants<\/em> <em>move<\/em> <em>their<\/em> <em>chairs<\/em> <em>around<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>get<\/em> <em>into<\/em> <em>pairs,<\/em> <em>facing<\/em> <em>each<\/em> <em>other<\/em> <em>directly.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Co-facilitators<\/em> <em>walk<\/em> <em>around<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>observe<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>interactions<\/em> <em>in<\/em> <em>different<\/em><em> pairs.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5 class=\"import-Heading7\" style=\"text-align: center;margin-left: 42.25pt;margin-right: 48.2pt\"><strong>Instructions To Participants<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Attentive Listening in Paired Sharing<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>Facilitator says,<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cThe next activity we are going to do is sharing stories. As we talked earlier, thoughts, feelings and labels can have a powerful hold on us when we are fused with them. We invite you to take a moment to think about one thing that you dislike about yourself, or a difficult area or experience in your life. Write a few words about this thought on a piece of paper.\u201d <em>(Pause for a minute to let participants write down their thoughts)<\/em><\/li>\n<li>\u201cWe would like you to get into pairs. You can move your chairs around, so each pair has some space to engage in sharing. We invite you to sit face to face as close to each other as you feel comfortable.\u201d <em>(Pause until each pair has<\/em> <em>settled in their space.)<\/em><\/li>\n<li>\u201cI will explain the activity first and then we will do it. In each pair, one of you will be the storyteller and the other person will be the listener. The storyteller will speak for 2 minutes while the listener listens. Then you will hear a bell. We will take a one-minute break, and we will then ask you to switch roles, so that the listener will become the storyteller and speak for 2 minutes while the other listens. Decide who will be the storyteller first. Storytellers, raise your hands so that we know that each pair is clear on who is going first.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWhen it is your turn to speak, we invite you to tell your partner a story about something you do not like about yourself, or a difficult area or experience in your life. Share with him\/her\/them the suffering you have experienced. Share what you have written down about yourself. When you are the listener, your role is to listen without making any comment, gesture, or response, no verbal or non-verbal responses. You do not need to provide counselling or advice. Just maintain eye contact and listen attentively and compassionately.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cTo guide you along, I will be ringing the bell to prompt you about what to do next, so you do not need to remember all these steps. Any questions before we begin?\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>start<\/em> <strong><em>one-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cLet\u2019s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with your gentle gaze\u2026 Look at each other with compassion and appreciation, but do not make any comment, gesture or response. No nodding, no \u201chi ha\u201d, etc.\u201d <em>(Designate the co-facilitator to help with keeping time.)<\/em><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to begin a <\/em><strong><em>two-minute of sharing <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cThe first person to share can now tell your story to your partner \u2013 what you don\u2019t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to begin <\/em><strong><em>another minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying<\/em>, \u201cNow let\u2019s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. One of you just shared something personal. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong>rings the bell to begin a <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>sharing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow we will switch roles. The second person to share can now tell your story to your partner \u2013 what you don\u2019t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong>rings the bell to mark the <strong><em>final<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying<\/em> ,\u201cNow let\u2019s have a final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Both of you just shared something personal. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>Paired Singing:<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>Facilitator says,<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>\u201c<\/em>We are now ready for the second part of the exercise! We will be doing something very similar to what you have just done. In the exact same sequence as before, we will ask you to connect with each other for a minute, followed by 2 minutes of sharing by the first person, then a minute of reconnection, switch roles for the other person to share for 2 minutes, and end with a final minute of reconnection. You will use the same story and even pretty much the same words. The only difference is that in sharing your story, we would invite you not to speak the story but <span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">to sing it. \u2018You &#8211; can &#8211; sing &#8211; it &#8211; to &#8211; any &#8211; tune &#8211; you \u2013 like\u2019 <\/span><em style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">(<\/em><strong style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\"><em>facilitator role models by singing this sentence<\/em><\/strong><em style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">). <\/em><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">You can pick any song or tune you like. You can even use the most common songs, e.g., children songs, birthday song, national anthem, etc. You may also rap. This is not a singing contest, but simply try sharing your story in a different way \u2014 a way that you would seldom use. We would encourage you to try singing it or rapping it! If you are really really stuck, you can also try retelling the story in an altered voice, e.g., imaginary cartoon character\u2019s high-pitch voice \u2026 or recite this story like an epic and ancient poem\u2026 or like a news anchor on TV, telling the story in the third-person&#8230; Any questions about this? \u2026.Ready? Let\u2019s start.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to start <\/em><strong><em>one-minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cLet\u2019s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with gentle gaze\u2026 Look at each other with compassion and appreciation\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <em>a<\/em> <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>singing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cThe first person to share can now sing your story to your partner!\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <strong><em>another<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>silence<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> <em>\u201c<\/em>Now let\u2019s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator<\/em><\/strong> <em>rings<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>bell<\/em> <em>to<\/em> <em>begin<\/em> <em>a<\/em> <strong><em>two-minute<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>of<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>singing<\/em><\/strong> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow we will switch roles. The second person to share can now sing your story to your partner!\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Facilitator <\/em><\/strong><em>rings the bell to mark the <\/em><strong><em>final minute of silence <\/em><\/strong><em>by saying, <\/em>\u201cNow let\u2019s have this final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let\u2019s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion. As this is the final step of this exercise, and this may be your only chance to have this opportunity to connect with your partner in this particular way in this particular moment, see if you can really treasure this final minute of connection with one another.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Facilitator<\/strong> <strong><em>closes<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>the<\/em><\/strong> <strong><em>exercise<\/em><\/strong> <em>for<\/em> <em>debriefing<\/em> <em>by<\/em> <em>saying,<\/em> \u201cNow please thank your partner. Let us get back into the large group for debriefing.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>Debriefing Questions<\/strong><\/h5>\n<p><strong>Facilitator<\/strong> <strong>asks<\/strong> the participants after they regrouped into the large group:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>\u201cWhat<\/em> <em>was this experience like for <\/em><em>you?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cDid<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>feel<\/em> <em>any<\/em> <em>difference<\/em> <em>between<\/em> <em>telling<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story<\/em> <em>and<\/em> <em>singing<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cHow<\/em> <em>did singing your story change the<\/em> <em>experience of telling the story for <\/em><em>you?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>\u201cDid<\/em> <em>singing<\/em> <em>your<\/em> <em>story<\/em> <em>change<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>way<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>felt<\/em> <em>about<\/em> <em>the<\/em> <em>negative<\/em> <em>thought<\/em> <em>or<\/em> <em>experience<\/em> <em>you<\/em> <em>were<\/em> <em>sharing<\/em> <em>from<\/em> <em>when<\/em> <em>you were talking about it?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Key Summary Points<\/span><\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>Internalized rules and stories that are about HIV or other stigma, or those that are about who we are, what is wrong with us or others, etc. can be powerful ideas and thoughts that influence our behaviour, especially when we are unaware of their influence and take them for granted as the reality or as unbreakable rules that we have to follow. (Fusion)<\/li>\n<li>We can free ourselves from fusing with these arbitrary rules by treating them as what they are \u2013 words and thoughts and stories \u2013 and use different ways such as singing to loosen their grip on us. We sometimes call this \u2018defusion\u2019 \u2013 which means getting unstuck from our thoughts. We do not have to take our thoughts so seriously. It is the opposite of \u2018fusion\u2019 \u2013 or getting stuck with our thoughts \u2013 even when it is harmful to us or others.<\/li>\n<li>Today we explored singing to each other about our stories. There are many other ways we can practice \u201cdefusion\u201d \u2013 seeing our thoughts as thoughts, no matter how \u201ctrue\u201d they seem. <em>(Take-Away<\/em> <em>Activities<\/em> <em>1.8.1.<\/em>) It would be great if you can try out some of these other methods at home too.<\/li>\n<li>We can learn to see and appreciate ourselves for who we are as human beings and not our labels or stories, just as we can learn to look at others compassionately as fellow human beings, and not as their labels or stories we hear.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Sources:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Fung, K. P., &amp; Zurowski, M. (2011). ACT protocols for CHAMP Study. Toronto, ON: Community Alliance for Accessible Treatment.<\/li>\n<li>Inspired by the idea, Create A Song, in , S. C., &amp; Smith, S. (2005). Get out of your mind and into your life (pp.80). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publication, Inc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h1 class=\"page-break-before\">Handout 1.8.1 &#8211; Cognitive Defusion Techniques<\/h1>\n<p>These are some techniques to help us \u201cdefuse\u201d from our thoughts \u2013 to see thoughts as just thoughts \u2013 nothing more and nothing less &#8211; rather than being trapped and dictated by our thoughts.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>The<\/strong> <strong>Mind:<\/strong> Treat \u201cthe mind\u201d as an external event, almost as a separate person, e.g., \u201cWell, there goes my mind again\u201d or \u201cMy mind is worrying again\u201d.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Thought<\/strong> <strong>Labelling: <\/strong>Label your thoughts as thoughts, e.g., \u201cI am having a thought that I will not be able to champion any change\u201d) or label the type of thought, e.g., \u201cI am having a judgment that my illness is too terrible to have,\u201d or \u201cI am having a prediction that people will not listen to me\u201d, etc.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Get<\/strong> <strong>off<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>\u201cBut\u201d!:<\/strong> Replace \u201cbut\u201d with \u201cand\u201d, e.g., \u201cI would like to speak out on stigma, but I may get nervous\u201d becomes \u201cI would like to speak out on stigma, and I may get nervous\u201d.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Use<\/strong> <strong>a<\/strong> <strong>variety<\/strong> <strong>of<\/strong> <strong>vocalizations: <\/strong>Say the thought very slowly, say it in a different voice, sing it, etc.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Thank<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>mind:<\/strong> Thank your mind when you notice it butting in with worries and judgments, e.g., \u201cThank you mind. You\u2019re doing a great job of scaring me today\u201d. This is not sarcasm\u2026after all, the mind is doing exactly what it was designed to do all of those thousands of years ago- \u201cproblem solve\u201d and avoid danger.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Say<\/strong> <strong>the<\/strong> <strong>thought<\/strong> <strong>out<\/strong> <strong>loud<\/strong> <strong>quickly<\/strong> <strong>and<\/strong> <strong>repeat<\/strong> <strong>it<\/strong> <strong>until<\/strong> <strong>it<\/strong> <strong>loses<\/strong> <strong>its<\/strong> <strong>meaning:<\/strong> e.g., I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless, I\u2019m useless,&#8230;&#8230;<\/li>\n<li><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Imagine that thoughts are like Internet pop-up ads:<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ul>\n<li>A ringing cell phone you can\u2019t turn off, e.g., \u201cHello. This is your mind speaking. Don\u2019t do too much because you are going to regret it\u201d, etc.).<\/li>\n<li>Clouds floating across the sky.<\/li>\n<li>Leaves floating down a stream. You don\u2019t have to dive in. You can watch from a bridge.<\/li>\n<li>A waterfall. You\u2019re standing behind it, not under it.<\/li>\n<li>Guests entering a hotel. You can be like the doorman: you greet the guests, but you don\u2019t follow them to their rooms.<\/li>\n<li>Actors on a stage. You can watch the play; you don\u2019t need to get on stage and perform.<\/li>\n<li>A passing parade. You can watch the floats pass by. You don\u2019t have to climb on board.<\/li>\n<li>Suitcases dropping onto a conveyor belt at the airport. You can watch them pass by, without having to pick them up.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ol start=\"8\">\n<li><strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Buying thoughts:<br \/>\n<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"text-align: initial;font-size: 1em\">Distinguish between thoughts that just occur and the thoughts that are believed \u2013 that you \u201cbuy into\u201d, e.g., \u201cI guess I\u2019m \u201cbuying\u201d the thought that I\u2019m hopeless\u201d).<\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong>And<\/strong> <strong>how<\/strong> <strong>has<\/strong> <strong>that<\/strong> <strong>worked<\/strong> <strong>for<\/strong> <strong>me?<\/strong> When you are buying a thought, back up for a moment and ask yourself, \u201cHow has that worked for me?\u201d and if it hasn\u2019t worked ask, \u201cWhich should I be guided by, my mind or my experience?\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Create<\/strong> <strong>your<\/strong> <strong>own<\/strong> <strong>defusion<\/strong> <strong>strategy!<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"import-Normal\">\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":486,"menu_order":8,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-250","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":208,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/486"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":818,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/250\/revisions\/818"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/208"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/250\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/champsinaction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}