{"id":294,"date":"2019-07-01T19:39:30","date_gmt":"2019-07-01T19:39:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.ryerson.ca\/scholarlywriting\/?post_type=chapter&p=294"},"modified":"2019-11-18T03:54:46","modified_gmt":"2019-11-18T03:54:46","slug":"examples-and-pitfalls-of-thesis-statements","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/chapter\/examples-and-pitfalls-of-thesis-statements\/","title":{"raw":"Examples and Pitfalls of Thesis Statements","rendered":"Examples and Pitfalls of Thesis Statements"},"content":{"raw":"The following are good examples of strong thesis statements.\r\n

Thesis statement 1<\/h2>\r\nTo plan and fund healthcare, local health networks are better at improving the patient experience and access to care than a large central body.\r\n

Thesis statement 2<\/h2>\r\nPositioning clients with acute respiratory distress syndrome in the prone position increases ventilation and decreases mortality rates.\r\n

Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements<\/h2>\r\nNow that you have learned about strong thesis statements, take a look at four pitfalls to avoid<\/strong> when composing a thesis, as described in Table 6.2 <\/strong>and illustrated in Figure 6.5<\/strong>.\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nTable 6.2<\/strong>: Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Pitfall<\/th>\r\nExample of weak thesis statements<\/th>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n
\r\n

Simply declaring your subject or describing what you are about to discuss.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n

\r\n

My paper explains why experience is more important than knowledge.<\/p>\r\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n

\r\n

Making an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insulting the opposing side.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n

\r\n

Provincial governments should double the amount of money that is given to hospitals.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n

\r\n

Stating an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n

\r\n

Hospitals should employ nurses.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n

\r\n

Making too broad a statement.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n

\r\n

Healthcare services are important to preventing disease.<\/p>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n\r\n\"Person\r\n\r\nFigure 6.5:<\/strong> Pitfalls in thesis statements\r\n\r\n\u00a0<\/strong>\r\n

\r\n

Student Tip<\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/header>\r\n

\r\n\r\nUse of the First Person Perspective in a Thesis Statement<\/strong>\r\n\r\nEven in a personal essay that allows the use of the first person perspective, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in \u201cmy opinion\u201d or \u201cI believe.\u201d<\/strong> These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion will be more convincing if you use a stronger statement, such as: \u201cAs per the evidence, I argue that shifting money to preventative healthcare is important to reduce hospital healthcare costs.\u201d\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n \r\n\r\n \r\n\r\n
\r\n\r\n

Attribution statement<\/h2>\r\nContent from this page was mixed with our own original content and adapted with editorial changes from:\r\n\r\nWriting for Success 1st Canadian Edition<\/a>\u00a0by\u00a0Tara Horkoff\u00a0is licensed under a\u00a0Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License<\/a>, except where otherwise noted. Download for free at: https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/writingforsuccess\/<\/a>","rendered":"

The following are good examples of strong thesis statements.<\/p>\n

Thesis statement 1<\/h2>\n

To plan and fund healthcare, local health networks are better at improving the patient experience and access to care than a large central body.<\/p>\n

Thesis statement 2<\/h2>\n

Positioning clients with acute respiratory distress syndrome in the prone position increases ventilation and decreases mortality rates.<\/p>\n

Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements<\/h2>\n

Now that you have learned about strong thesis statements, take a look at four pitfalls to avoid<\/strong> when composing a thesis, as described in Table 6.2 <\/strong>and illustrated in Figure 6.5<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Table 6.2<\/strong>: Pitfalls to avoid with thesis statements<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Pitfall<\/th>\nExample of weak thesis statements<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

Simply declaring your subject or describing what you are about to discuss.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

My paper explains why experience is more important than knowledge.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

Making an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insulting the opposing side.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Provincial governments should double the amount of money that is given to hospitals.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

Stating an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Hospitals should employ nurses.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n

Making too broad a statement.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\n

Healthcare services are important to preventing disease.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Person<\/p>\n

Figure 6.5:<\/strong> Pitfalls in thesis statements<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Student Tip<\/p>\n<\/header>\n

\n

Use of the First Person Perspective in a Thesis Statement<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of the first person perspective, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in \u201cmy opinion\u201d or \u201cI believe.\u201d<\/strong> These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion will be more convincing if you use a stronger statement, such as: \u201cAs per the evidence, I argue that shifting money to preventative healthcare is important to reduce hospital healthcare costs.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Attribution statement<\/h2>\n

Content from this page was mixed with our own original content and adapted with editorial changes from:<\/p>\n

Writing for Success 1st Canadian Edition<\/a>\u00a0by\u00a0Tara Horkoff\u00a0is licensed under a\u00a0Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License<\/a>, except where otherwise noted. Download for free at: https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/writingforsuccess\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"menu_order":7,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-294","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":139,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/34"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2127,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/294\/revisions\/2127"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/139"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/294\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=294"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=294"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/scholarlywriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}