{"id":227,"date":"2023-05-14T19:06:51","date_gmt":"2023-05-14T23:06:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/?post_type=chapter&#038;p=227"},"modified":"2024-02-26T15:26:00","modified_gmt":"2024-02-26T20:26:00","slug":"activity-2-6-at-the-100th-birthday-party","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/chapter\/activity-2-6-at-the-100th-birthday-party\/","title":{"raw":"Activity 2.6 At the 100th birthday party","rendered":"Activity 2.6 At the 100th birthday party"},"content":{"raw":"<strong>Objectives:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>To support participants in gaining a clear understanding of their values;<\/li>\r\n \t<li>To support participants in developing a sense of the continuity of values throughout their adult lives; To promote awareness and identification with self-defined valued directions among participants.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Participation Format:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Participants work independently for a few minutes and then share in a large circle\r\n** This activity can be done as homework if previous activities take longer (See <a href=\"#2.6\">Appendix 2.6<\/a> as homework). If this is assigned as homework, give a brief description of what values are (see Notes for facilitators below) before the Bull\u2019s Eye activity.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Number of Facilitators:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>2<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Time Required:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>20 mins<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Materials Required:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>blank paper and pens<\/li>\r\n \t<li>flip chart paper, markers, and masking tape<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n\r\n<hr \/>\r\n\r\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">Activities &amp; Instructions<\/h2>\r\n\r\n<hr \/>\r\n\r\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>Instructions for participants<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Facilitators provide participants with a piece of paper and pen.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Facilitator #2: The following is an exercise to help you examine your own values. This is about what is most important to you in your life \u2013 what you stand for or care passionately about. In this exercise, we invite you to imagine that this is your 100th birthday. Imagine that your life has unfolded perfectly as you wished. Your friends and family have organized a birthday party for you, and some of your family members, friends, coworkers, or perhaps even other people in the community have prepared speeches about you. Now we would like you to take a few minutes to write down ideally who might be making a speech and what you would like them to say about you in terms of:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>what you stood for or cared about throughout your adult life,<\/li>\r\n \t<li>what path or actions you have taken in life<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Facilitator #1 posts the above questions that have been written on a flip chart.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Participants take 3 to 5 minutes to write down their thoughts.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Then Facilitator #2 continues: Now suppose you could read everyone\u2019s mind at your birthday party but they are not aware that you have this super mind-reading power. What would you be most afraid that your loved ones thought about you in terms of:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>what you stood for or cared about throughout your adult life,<\/li>\r\n \t<li>what path or actions you have taken in life<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Facilitator #1 posts the above questions that have been written on a flip chart.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Participants take 3 to 5 minutes to write down their thoughts.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Facilitator #2 debriefs the exercise by inviting participants to share:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>What have you learned about your values and your actions in doing this exercise?<\/li>\r\n \t<li>How does this exercise provide you with new motivation to pay attention to certain aspects of your life?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Facilitator #2 concludes this activity by reminding participant thatthis activity shows us how our values are freely chosen directions that are often difficult to strive towards because of the complex demands or distractions in different aspects of our life. Living a full and meaningful life requires us to pay attention to what we truly value and follow our chosen directions through committed action.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\" border=\"0\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 100%;text-align: center\"><strong>Notes for facilitators<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 100%\">During debriefing, bring out the following four key points about values using participants\u2019 examples:\r\n<ol style=\"list-style-type: lower-roman\">\r\n \t<li>Values as endless directions:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Values are our chosen directions in life, and so, they are not something that can ever be achieved or completed. Like going east. You can always go further east \u2013 from here, we can go to a street east of here, to the east coast \u2026 across the ocean, to another continent, and still you can go further. Just like being a caring parent (or spouse) \u2013 this value does not vanish with the changing of the 100th diaper (or the 100th hug).It\u2019s not like you can just get a certificate \u201ccaring parent (spouse)\u201d and you can stop doing being a caring parent (spouse).\r\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use specific values mentioned by participants\u2026 the quality is important here \u2013 e.g. what kind of spouse?)<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Values versus Goals:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">What helps us along the way as we strive to maintain our values is to set goals. Graduating from school is a goal. Reaching to my close friend about mental illness is a goal. We are mapping points along our paths or bus stops along a bus route. We can carry out a committed action along our path as we travel in our valued direction in our journey of life.\r\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use participants\u2019 examples of actions being consistent with values.)<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Barriers - going off course and re-orienting ourselves:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Once we know our directions, like stars in the sky, our values guide our actions. We can commit to them. If we ever deviate off the path while encountering distractions and obstacles, which seems inevitable from our sharing here, we can pause and reflect; get our bearings; and resume our journey.\r\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use obstacles mentioned by participants, for example, what they fear people may say or other barriers participants may share.) <\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Barriers \u2013 being flexible and staying committed:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Knowing our valued directions is also important because it helps us remain flexible. Imagine that you are going east and there is road construction \u2013 and it is impossible to pass. When we know our direction, we can take an alternate route that is consistent with our true valued directions. If I was in school, but I had to stop my studies for now because of physical or mental illness, I can still pursue other kinds of learning to further my values in my personal growth.\r\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Draw examples from participants.)<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><strong>References &amp; Sources<\/strong><\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Informed by the Exercise: Attending Your Own Funeral (Hayes, 2005, p. 166)<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h2 class=\"page-break-before\"><a id=\"2.6\"><\/a>Appendix 2.6 \u2013 My 100th Birthday Party<\/h2>\r\n<strong>Purpose:<\/strong> This exercise helps you to examine your own values, or what is most important to you in your life \u2013 what you stand for or care passionately about.\r\n\r\nInstructions:\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li>Imagine this is your 100th birthday. Imagine that your life has unfolded just as you wished. Your friends and family have organized a birthday party for you, and some of your family members, friends, coworkers, or perhaps even other people in the community have prepared speeches about you. Now take a few minutes to write down:<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\" border=\"0\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">Ideally, who might make a speech?<\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\" colspan=\"2\">What I would like them to say about me in terms of:<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\"><\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What I stood for and cared about throughout my life?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;<\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What paths or actions I have taken in life?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<ol start=\"2\">\r\n \t<li>Suppose you could read everyone\u2019s mind at your birthday party but they are not aware that you have this super mind-reading power, what would you be most afraid that your loved ones thought about you in terms of:<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\" border=\"0\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">Loved ones or people important to me<\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\" colspan=\"2\">What I would be most afraid that they thought about me in terms of:<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\"><\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What I stood for and cared about throughout my life?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;<\/td>\r\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What paths or actions I have taken in life?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<ol start=\"3\">\r\n \t<li>Reflection: What have you learned about your values and your actions in doing this exercise?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>","rendered":"<p><strong>Objectives:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>To support participants in gaining a clear understanding of their values;<\/li>\n<li>To support participants in developing a sense of the continuity of values throughout their adult lives; To promote awareness and identification with self-defined valued directions among participants.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Participation Format:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Participants work independently for a few minutes and then share in a large circle<br \/>\n** This activity can be done as homework if previous activities take longer (See <a href=\"#2.6\">Appendix 2.6<\/a> as homework). If this is assigned as homework, give a brief description of what values are (see Notes for facilitators below) before the Bull\u2019s Eye activity.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Number of Facilitators:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>2<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Time Required:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>20 mins<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Materials Required:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>blank paper and pens<\/li>\n<li>flip chart paper, markers, and masking tape<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr \/>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center\">Activities &amp; Instructions<\/h2>\n<hr \/>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>Instructions for participants<\/strong><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>Facilitators provide participants with a piece of paper and pen.<\/li>\n<li>Facilitator #2: The following is an exercise to help you examine your own values. This is about what is most important to you in your life \u2013 what you stand for or care passionately about. In this exercise, we invite you to imagine that this is your 100th birthday. Imagine that your life has unfolded perfectly as you wished. Your friends and family have organized a birthday party for you, and some of your family members, friends, coworkers, or perhaps even other people in the community have prepared speeches about you. Now we would like you to take a few minutes to write down ideally who might be making a speech and what you would like them to say about you in terms of:\n<ul>\n<li>what you stood for or cared about throughout your adult life,<\/li>\n<li>what path or actions you have taken in life<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Facilitator #1 posts the above questions that have been written on a flip chart.<\/li>\n<li>Participants take 3 to 5 minutes to write down their thoughts.<\/li>\n<li>Then Facilitator #2 continues: Now suppose you could read everyone\u2019s mind at your birthday party but they are not aware that you have this super mind-reading power. What would you be most afraid that your loved ones thought about you in terms of:\n<ul>\n<li>what you stood for or cared about throughout your adult life,<\/li>\n<li>what path or actions you have taken in life<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Facilitator #1 posts the above questions that have been written on a flip chart.<\/li>\n<li>Participants take 3 to 5 minutes to write down their thoughts.<\/li>\n<li>Facilitator #2 debriefs the exercise by inviting participants to share:\n<ul>\n<li>What have you learned about your values and your actions in doing this exercise?<\/li>\n<li>How does this exercise provide you with new motivation to pay attention to certain aspects of your life?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Facilitator #2 concludes this activity by reminding participant thatthis activity shows us how our values are freely chosen directions that are often difficult to strive towards because of the complex demands or distractions in different aspects of our life. Living a full and meaningful life requires us to pay attention to what we truly value and follow our chosen directions through committed action.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100%;text-align: center\"><strong>Notes for facilitators<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 100%\">During debriefing, bring out the following four key points about values using participants\u2019 examples:<\/p>\n<ol style=\"list-style-type: lower-roman\">\n<li>Values as endless directions:\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Values are our chosen directions in life, and so, they are not something that can ever be achieved or completed. Like going east. You can always go further east \u2013 from here, we can go to a street east of here, to the east coast \u2026 across the ocean, to another continent, and still you can go further. Just like being a caring parent (or spouse) \u2013 this value does not vanish with the changing of the 100th diaper (or the 100th hug).It\u2019s not like you can just get a certificate \u201ccaring parent (spouse)\u201d and you can stop doing being a caring parent (spouse).<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use specific values mentioned by participants\u2026 the quality is important here \u2013 e.g. what kind of spouse?)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Values versus Goals:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">What helps us along the way as we strive to maintain our values is to set goals. Graduating from school is a goal. Reaching to my close friend about mental illness is a goal. We are mapping points along our paths or bus stops along a bus route. We can carry out a committed action along our path as we travel in our valued direction in our journey of life.<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use participants\u2019 examples of actions being consistent with values.)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Barriers &#8211; going off course and re-orienting ourselves:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Once we know our directions, like stars in the sky, our values guide our actions. We can commit to them. If we ever deviate off the path while encountering distractions and obstacles, which seems inevitable from our sharing here, we can pause and reflect; get our bearings; and resume our journey.<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Use obstacles mentioned by participants, for example, what they fear people may say or other barriers participants may share.) <\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Barriers \u2013 being flexible and staying committed:<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">Knowing our valued directions is also important because it helps us remain flexible. Imagine that you are going east and there is road construction \u2013 and it is impossible to pass. When we know our direction, we can take an alternate route that is consistent with our true valued directions. If I was in school, but I had to stop my studies for now because of physical or mental illness, I can still pursue other kinds of learning to further my values in my personal growth.<br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit\">(Draw examples from participants.)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><strong>References &amp; Sources<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Informed by the Exercise: Attending Your Own Funeral (Hayes, 2005, p. 166)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 class=\"page-break-before\"><a id=\"2.6\"><\/a>Appendix 2.6 \u2013 My 100th Birthday Party<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Purpose:<\/strong> This exercise helps you to examine your own values, or what is most important to you in your life \u2013 what you stand for or care passionately about.<\/p>\n<p>Instructions:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Imagine this is your 100th birthday. Imagine that your life has unfolded just as you wished. Your friends and family have organized a birthday party for you, and some of your family members, friends, coworkers, or perhaps even other people in the community have prepared speeches about you. Now take a few minutes to write down:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">Ideally, who might make a speech?<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\" colspan=\"2\">What I would like them to say about me in terms of:<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\"><\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What I stood for and cared about throughout my life?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What paths or actions I have taken in life?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li>Suppose you could read everyone\u2019s mind at your birthday party but they are not aware that you have this super mind-reading power, what would you be most afraid that your loved ones thought about you in terms of:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<table class=\"grid\" style=\"border-collapse: collapse;width: 100%\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">Loved ones or people important to me<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\" colspan=\"2\">What I would be most afraid that they thought about me in terms of:<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\"><\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What I stood for and cared about throughout my life?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 33.333333%\">What paths or actions I have taken in life?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li>Reflection: What have you learned about your values and your actions in doing this exercise?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"author":486,"menu_order":16,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-227","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":123,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/486"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":437,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/227\/revisions\/437"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/123"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/227\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=227"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=227"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/strengthinunity\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}