{"id":42,"date":"2021-02-09T15:10:34","date_gmt":"2021-02-09T20:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.ryerson.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/?post_type=chapter&p=42"},"modified":"2022-01-31T09:52:21","modified_gmt":"2022-01-31T14:52:21","slug":"2","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/chapter\/2\/","title":{"raw":"Chapter 2","rendered":"Chapter 2"},"content":{"raw":"We have been here two weeks, and I haven\u2019t felt like writing before, since that first day.\r\n\r\nI am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my writing as much as I please, save lack of strength.\r\n\r\nJohn is away all day, and even some nights when his cases are serious.\r\n\r\nI am glad my case is not serious!\r\n\r\nBut these nervous troubles are dreadfully depressing.\r\n\r\nJohn does not know how much I really suffer. He knows there is no reason<\/i> to suffer, and that satisfies him.\r\n\r\nOf course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on me so not to do my duty in any way!\r\n\r\nI meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!\r\n\r\nNobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able\u2014to dress and entertain, and order things.\r\n\r\nIt is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a dear baby!\r\n\r\nAnd yet I cannot<\/i> be with him, it makes me so nervous.\r\n\r\nI suppose John never was nervous in his life. He laughs at me so about this wallpaper!\r\n\r\nAt first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies.\r\n\r\nHe said that after the wallpaper was changed it would be the heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and then that gate at the head of the stairs, and so on.\r\n\r\n\u201cYou know the place is doing you good,\u201d he said, \u201cand really, dear, I don\u2019t care to renovate the house just for a three months\u2019 rental.\u201d\r\n\r\n\u201cThen do let us go downstairs,\u201d I said, \u201cthere are such pretty rooms there.\u201d\r\n\r\nThen he took me in his arms and called me a blessed little goose, and said he would go down cellar if I wished, and have it whitewashed into the bargain.\r\n\r\nBut he is right enough about the beds and windows and things.\r\n\r\nIt is as airy and comfortable a room as any one need wish, and, of course, I would not be so silly as to make him uncomfortable just for a whim.\r\n\r\nI\u2019m really getting quite fond of the big room, all but that horrid paper.\r\n\r\nOut of one window I can see the garden, those mysterious deep-shaded arbors, the riotous old-fashioned flowers, and bushes and gnarly trees.\r\n\r\nOut of another I get a lovely view of the bay and a little private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a beautiful shaded lane that runs down there from the house. I always fancy I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John has cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that with my imaginative power and habit of story-making a nervous weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of excited fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good sense to check the tendency. So I try.\r\n\r\nI think sometimes that if I were only well enough to write a little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.\r\n\r\nBut I find I get pretty tired when I try.\r\n\r\nIt is so discouraging not to have any advice and companionship about my work. When I get really well John says we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a long visit; but he says he would as soon put fire-works in my pillow-case as to let me have those stimulating people about now.\r\n\r\nI wish I could get well faster.\r\n\r\nBut I must not think about that. This paper looks to me as if it knew<\/i> what a vicious influence it had!\r\n\r\nThere is a recurrent spot where the pattern lolls like a broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare at you upside-down.\r\n\r\nI get positively angry with the impertinence of it and the everlastingness. Up and down and sideways they crawl, and those absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere. There is one place where two breadths didn\u2019t match, and the eyes go all up and down the line, one a little higher than the other.\r\n\r\nI never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before, and we all know how much expression they have! I used to lie awake as a child and get more entertainment and terror out of blank walls and plain furniture than most children could find in a toy-store.\r\n\r\nI remember what a kindly wink the knobs of our big old bureau used to have, and there was one chair that always seemed like a strong friend.\r\n\r\nI used to feel that if any of the other things looked too fierce I could always hop into that chair and be safe.\r\n\r\nThe furniture in this room is no worse than inharmonious, however, for we had to bring it all from downstairs. I suppose when this was used as a playroom they had to take the nursery things out, and no wonder! I never saw such ravages as the children have made here.\r\n\r\nThe wallpaper, as I said before, is torn off in spots, and it sticketh closer than a brother\u2014they must have had perseverance as well as hatred.\r\n\r\nThen the floor is scratched and gouged and splintered, the plaster itself is dug out here and there, and this great heavy bed, which is all we found in the room, looks as if it had been through the wars.\r\n\r\nBut I don\u2019t mind it a bit\u2014only the paper.\r\n\r\nThere comes John\u2019s sister. Such a dear girl as she is, and so careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.\r\n\r\nShe is a perfect, and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no better profession. I verily believe she thinks it is the writing which made me sick!\r\n\r\nBut I can write when she is out, and see her a long way off from these windows.\r\n\r\nThere is one that commands the road, a lovely, shaded, winding road, and one that just looks off over the country. A lovely country, too, full of great elms and velvet meadows.\r\n\r\nThis wallpaper has a kind of sub-pattern in a different shade, a particularly irritating one, for you can only see it in certain lights, and not clearly then.\r\n\r\nBut in the places where it isn\u2019t faded, and where the sun is just so, I can see a strange, provoking, formless sort of figure, that seems to sulk about behind that silly and conspicuous front design.\r\n\r\nThere\u2019s sister on the stairs!","rendered":"

We have been here two weeks, and I haven\u2019t felt like writing before, since that first day.<\/p>\n

I am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my writing as much as I please, save lack of strength.<\/p>\n

John is away all day, and even some nights when his cases are serious.<\/p>\n

I am glad my case is not serious!<\/p>\n

But these nervous troubles are dreadfully depressing.<\/p>\n

John does not know how much I really suffer. He knows there is no reason<\/i> to suffer, and that satisfies him.<\/p>\n

Of course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on me so not to do my duty in any way!<\/p>\n

I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!<\/p>\n

Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I am able\u2014to dress and entertain, and order things.<\/p>\n

It is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a dear baby!<\/p>\n

And yet I cannot<\/i> be with him, it makes me so nervous.<\/p>\n

I suppose John never was nervous in his life. He laughs at me so about this wallpaper!<\/p>\n

At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such fancies.<\/p>\n

He said that after the wallpaper was changed it would be the heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and then that gate at the head of the stairs, and so on.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know the place is doing you good,\u201d he said, \u201cand really, dear, I don\u2019t care to renovate the house just for a three months\u2019 rental.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen do let us go downstairs,\u201d I said, \u201cthere are such pretty rooms there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then he took me in his arms and called me a blessed little goose, and said he would go down cellar if I wished, and have it whitewashed into the bargain.<\/p>\n

But he is right enough about the beds and windows and things.<\/p>\n

It is as airy and comfortable a room as any one need wish, and, of course, I would not be so silly as to make him uncomfortable just for a whim.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m really getting quite fond of the big room, all but that horrid paper.<\/p>\n

Out of one window I can see the garden, those mysterious deep-shaded arbors, the riotous old-fashioned flowers, and bushes and gnarly trees.<\/p>\n

Out of another I get a lovely view of the bay and a little private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a beautiful shaded lane that runs down there from the house. I always fancy I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John has cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that with my imaginative power and habit of story-making a nervous weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of excited fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good sense to check the tendency. So I try.<\/p>\n

I think sometimes that if I were only well enough to write a little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.<\/p>\n

But I find I get pretty tired when I try.<\/p>\n

It is so discouraging not to have any advice and companionship about my work. When I get really well John says we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a long visit; but he says he would as soon put fire-works in my pillow-case as to let me have those stimulating people about now.<\/p>\n

I wish I could get well faster.<\/p>\n

But I must not think about that. This paper looks to me as if it knew<\/i> what a vicious influence it had!<\/p>\n

There is a recurrent spot where the pattern lolls like a broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare at you upside-down.<\/p>\n

I get positively angry with the impertinence of it and the everlastingness. Up and down and sideways they crawl, and those absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere. There is one place where two breadths didn\u2019t match, and the eyes go all up and down the line, one a little higher than the other.<\/p>\n

I never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before, and we all know how much expression they have! I used to lie awake as a child and get more entertainment and terror out of blank walls and plain furniture than most children could find in a toy-store.<\/p>\n

I remember what a kindly wink the knobs of our big old bureau used to have, and there was one chair that always seemed like a strong friend.<\/p>\n

I used to feel that if any of the other things looked too fierce I could always hop into that chair and be safe.<\/p>\n

The furniture in this room is no worse than inharmonious, however, for we had to bring it all from downstairs. I suppose when this was used as a playroom they had to take the nursery things out, and no wonder! I never saw such ravages as the children have made here.<\/p>\n

The wallpaper, as I said before, is torn off in spots, and it sticketh closer than a brother\u2014they must have had perseverance as well as hatred.<\/p>\n

Then the floor is scratched and gouged and splintered, the plaster itself is dug out here and there, and this great heavy bed, which is all we found in the room, looks as if it had been through the wars.<\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t mind it a bit\u2014only the paper.<\/p>\n

There comes John\u2019s sister. Such a dear girl as she is, and so careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.<\/p>\n

She is a perfect, and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no better profession. I verily believe she thinks it is the writing which made me sick!<\/p>\n

But I can write when she is out, and see her a long way off from these windows.<\/p>\n

There is one that commands the road, a lovely, shaded, winding road, and one that just looks off over the country. A lovely country, too, full of great elms and velvet meadows.<\/p>\n

This wallpaper has a kind of sub-pattern in a different shade, a particularly irritating one, for you can only see it in certain lights, and not clearly then.<\/p>\n

But in the places where it isn\u2019t faded, and where the sun is just so, I can see a strange, provoking, formless sort of figure, that seems to sulk about behind that silly and conspicuous front design.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s sister on the stairs!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":251,"menu_order":2,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[48],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-42","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry","chapter-type-numberless"],"part":3,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/42","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/251"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/42\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":100,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/42\/revisions\/100"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/3"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/42\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=42"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=42"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/theyellowwallpaper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}