Well, if the house was empty, in such a plight as mine I might be said\u00a0to have a moral, if not a legal, right, to its bare shelter. Who, with\u00a0a heart in his bosom, would deny it me? Hardly the most punctilious\u00a0landlord. Raising myself by means of the sill I slipped my legs into\u00a0the room.<\/p>\r\n
The moment I did so I became conscious that, at any rate, the room was\u00a0not entirely unfurnished. The floor was carpeted. I have had my feet on\u00a0some good carpets in my time; I know what carpets are; but never did I\u00a0stand upon a softer one than that. It reminded me, somehow, even then,\u00a0of the turf in Richmond Park,--it caressed my instep, and sprang\u00a0beneath my tread. To my poor, travel-worn feet, it was luxury after the\u00a0puddly, uneven road. Should I, now I had ascertained that--the room\u00a0was, at least, partially furnished, beat a retreat? Or should I push my\u00a0researches further? It would have been rapture to have thrown off my\u00a0clothes, and to have sunk down, on the carpet, then and there, to\u00a0sleep. But,--I was so hungry; so famine-goaded; what would I not have\u00a0given to have lighted on something good to eat!<\/p>\r\n
I moved a step or two forward, gingerly, reaching out with my hands,\u00a0lest I struck, unawares, against some unseen thing. When I had taken\u00a0three or four such steps, without encountering an obstacle, or, indeed,\u00a0anything at all, I began, all at once, to wish I had not seen the\u00a0house; that I had passed it by; that I had not come through the window;\u00a0that I were safely out of it again. I became, on a sudden, aware, that\u00a0something was with me in the room. There was nothing, ostensible, to\u00a0lead me to such a conviction; it may be that my faculties were\u00a0unnaturally keen; but, all at once, I knew that there was something\u00a0there. What was more, I had a horrible persuasion that, though\u00a0unseeing, I was seen; that my every movement was being watched.<\/p>\r\n
What it was that was with me I could not tell; I could not even guess.\u00a0It was as though something in my mental organisation had been stricken\u00a0by a sudden paralysis. It may seem childish to use such language; but I\u00a0was overwrought, played out; physically speaking, at my last counter;\u00a0and, in an instant, without the slightest warning, I was conscious of a\u00a0very curious sensation, the like of which I had never felt before, and\u00a0the like of which I pray that I never may feel again,--a sensation of\u00a0panic fear. I remained rooted to the spot on which I stood, not daring\u00a0to move, fearing to draw my breath. I felt that the presence with me in\u00a0the room was something strange, something evil.<\/p>\r\n
I do not know how long I stood there, spell-bound, but certainly for\u00a0some considerable space of time. By degrees, as nothing moved, nothing\u00a0was seen, nothing was heard, and nothing happened, I made an effort to\u00a0better play the man. I knew that, at the moment, I played the cur. And\u00a0endeavoured to ask myself of what it was I was afraid. I was shivering\u00a0at my own imaginings. What could be in the room, to have suffered me to\u00a0open the window and to enter unopposed? Whatever it was, was surely to\u00a0the full as great a coward as I was, or why permit, unchecked, my\u00a0burglarious entry. Since I had been allowed to enter, the probability\u00a0was that I should be at liberty to retreat,--and I was sensible of a\u00a0much keener desire to retreat than I had ever had to enter.<\/p>\r\n
I had to put the greatest amount of pressure upon myself before I could\u00a0summon up sufficient courage to enable me to even turn my head upon my\u00a0shoulders,--and the moment I did so I turned it back again. What\u00a0constrained me, to save my soul I could not have said,--but I was\u00a0constrained. My heart was palpitating in my bosom; I could hear it\u00a0beat. I was trembling so that I could scarcely stand. I was overwhelmed\u00a0by a fresh flood of terror. I stared in front of me with eyes in which,\u00a0had it been light, would have been seen the frenzy of unreasoning fear.\u00a0My ears were strained so that I listened with an acuteness of tension\u00a0which was painful.<\/p>\r\n
Something moved. Slightly, with so slight a sound, that it would\u00a0scarcely have been audible to other ears save mine. But I heard. I was\u00a0looking in the direction from which the movement came, and, as I\u00a0looked, I saw in front of me two specks of light. They had not been\u00a0there a moment before, that I would swear. They were there now. They\u00a0were eyes,--I told myself they were eyes. I had heard how cats' eyes\u00a0gleam in the dark, though I had never seen them, and I said to myself\u00a0that these were cats' eyes; that the thing in front of me was nothing\u00a0but a cat. But I knew I lied. I knew that these were eyes, and I knew\u00a0they were not cats' eyes, but what eyes they were I did not know,--nor\u00a0dared to think.<\/p>\r\n
They moved,--towards me. The creature to which the eyes belonged was\u00a0coming closer. So intense was my desire to fly that I would much rather\u00a0have died than stood there still; yet I could not control a limb; my\u00a0limbs were as if they were not mine. The eyes came on,--noiselessly. At\u00a0first they were between two and three feet from the ground; but, on a\u00a0sudden, there was a squelching sound, as if some yielding body had been\u00a0squashed upon the floor. The eyes vanished,--to reappear, a moment\u00a0afterwards, at what I judged to be a distance of some six inches from\u00a0the floor. And they again came on.<\/p>\r\n
So it seemed that the creature, whatever it was to which the eyes\u00a0belonged, was, after all, but small. Why I did not obey the frantic\u00a0longing which I had to flee from it, I cannot tell; I only know, I\u00a0could not. I take it that the stress and privations which I had lately\u00a0undergone, and which I was, even then, still undergoing, had much to do\u00a0with my conduct at that moment, and with the part I played in all that\u00a0followed. Ordinarily I believe that I have as high a spirit as the\u00a0average man, and as solid a resolution; but when one has been dragged\u00a0through the Valley of Humiliation, and plunged, again and again, into\u00a0the Waters of Bitterness and Privation, a man can be constrained to a\u00a0course of action of which, in his happier moments, he would have deemed\u00a0himself incapable. I know this of my own knowledge.<\/p>\r\n
Slowly the eyes came on, with a strange slowness, and as they came they\u00a0moved from side to side as if their owner walked unevenly. Nothing\u00a0could have exceeded the horror with which I awaited their\u00a0approach,--except my incapacity to escape them. Not for an instant did\u00a0my glance pass from them,--I could not have shut my eyes for all the\u00a0gold the world contains!--so that as they came closer I had to look\u00a0right down to what seemed to be almost the level of my feet. And, at\u00a0last, they reached my feet. They never paused. On a sudden I felt\u00a0something on my boot, and, with a sense of shrinking, horror, nausea,\u00a0rendering me momentarily more helpless, I realised that the creature\u00a0was beginning to ascend my legs, to climb my body. Even then what it\u00a0was I could not tell,--it mounted me, apparently, with as much ease as\u00a0if I had been horizontal instead of perpendicular. It was as though it\u00a0were some gigantic spider,--a spider of the nightmares; a monstrous\u00a0conception of some dreadful vision. It pressed lightly against my\u00a0clothing with what might, for all the world, have been spider's legs.\u00a0There was an amazing host of them,--I felt the pressure of each\u00a0separate one. They embraced me softly, stickily, as if the creature\u00a0glued and unglued them, each time it moved.<\/p>\r\n
Higher and higher! It had gained my loins. It was moving towards the\u00a0pit of my stomach. The helplessness with which I suffered its invasion\u00a0was not the least part of my agony,--it was that helplessness which we\u00a0know in dreadful dreams. I understood, quite well, that if I did but\u00a0give myself a hearty shake, the creature would fall off; but I had not\u00a0a muscle at my command.<\/p>\r\n
As the creature mounted its eyes began to play the part of two small\u00a0lamps; they positively emitted rays of light. By their rays I began to\u00a0perceive faint outlines of its body. It seemed larger than I had\u00a0supposed. Either the body itself was slightly phosphorescent, or it was\u00a0of a peculiar yellow hue. It gleamed in the darkness. What it was there\u00a0was still nothing to positively show, but the impression grew upon me\u00a0that it was some member of the spider family, some monstrous member, of\u00a0the like of which I had never heard or read. It was heavy, so heavy\u00a0indeed, that I wondered how, with so slight a pressure, it managed to\u00a0retain its hold,--that it did so by the aid of some adhesive substance\u00a0at the end of its legs I was sure,--I could feel it stick. Its weight\u00a0increased as it ascended,--and it smelt! I had been for some time aware\u00a0that it emitted an unpleasant, foetid odour; as it neared my face it\u00a0became so intense as to be unbearable.<\/p>\r\n
It was at my chest. I became more and more conscious of an\u00a0uncomfortable wobbling motion, as if each time it breathed its body\u00a0heaved. Its forelegs touched the bare skin about the base of my neck;\u00a0they stuck to it,--shall I ever forget the feeling? I have it often in\u00a0my dreams. While it hung on with those in front it seemed to draw its\u00a0other legs up after it. It crawled up my neck, with hideous slowness, a\u00a0quarter of an inch at a time, its weight compelling me to brace the\u00a0muscles of my back. It reached my chin, it touched my lips,--and I\u00a0stood still and bore it all, while it enveloped my face with its huge,\u00a0slimy, evil-smelling body, and embraced me with its myriad legs. The\u00a0horror of it made me mad. I shook myself like one stricken by the\u00a0shaking ague. I shook the creature off. It squashed upon the floor.\u00a0Shrieking like some lost spirit, turning, I dashed towards the window.\u00a0As I went, my foot, catching in some obstacle, I fell headlong to the\u00a0floor.<\/p>\r\n
Picking myself up as quickly as I could I resumed my flight,--rain or\u00a0no rain, oh to get out of that room! I already had my hand upon the\u00a0sill, in another instant I should have been over it,--then, despite my\u00a0hunger, my fatigues, let anyone have stopped me if they could!--when\u00a0someone behind me struck a light.<\/p>","rendered":"
Well, if the house was empty, in such a plight as mine I might be said\u00a0to have a moral, if not a legal, right, to its bare shelter. Who, with\u00a0a heart in his bosom, would deny it me? Hardly the most punctilious\u00a0landlord. Raising myself by means of the sill I slipped my legs into\u00a0the room.<\/p>\n
The moment I did so I became conscious that, at any rate, the room was\u00a0not entirely unfurnished. The floor was carpeted. I have had my feet on\u00a0some good carpets in my time; I know what carpets are; but never did I\u00a0stand upon a softer one than that. It reminded me, somehow, even then,\u00a0of the turf in Richmond Park,–it caressed my instep, and sprang\u00a0beneath my tread. To my poor, travel-worn feet, it was luxury after the\u00a0puddly, uneven road. Should I, now I had ascertained that–the room\u00a0was, at least, partially furnished, beat a retreat? Or should I push my\u00a0researches further? It would have been rapture to have thrown off my\u00a0clothes, and to have sunk down, on the carpet, then and there, to\u00a0sleep. But,–I was so hungry; so famine-goaded; what would I not have\u00a0given to have lighted on something good to eat!<\/p>\n
I moved a step or two forward, gingerly, reaching out with my hands,\u00a0lest I struck, unawares, against some unseen thing. When I had taken\u00a0three or four such steps, without encountering an obstacle, or, indeed,\u00a0anything at all, I began, all at once, to wish I had not seen the\u00a0house; that I had passed it by; that I had not come through the window;\u00a0that I were safely out of it again. I became, on a sudden, aware, that\u00a0something was with me in the room. There was nothing, ostensible, to\u00a0lead me to such a conviction; it may be that my faculties were\u00a0unnaturally keen; but, all at once, I knew that there was something\u00a0there. What was more, I had a horrible persuasion that, though\u00a0unseeing, I was seen; that my every movement was being watched.<\/p>\n
What it was that was with me I could not tell; I could not even guess.\u00a0It was as though something in my mental organisation had been stricken\u00a0by a sudden paralysis. It may seem childish to use such language; but I\u00a0was overwrought, played out; physically speaking, at my last counter;\u00a0and, in an instant, without the slightest warning, I was conscious of a\u00a0very curious sensation, the like of which I had never felt before, and\u00a0the like of which I pray that I never may feel again,–a sensation of\u00a0panic fear. I remained rooted to the spot on which I stood, not daring\u00a0to move, fearing to draw my breath. I felt that the presence with me in\u00a0the room was something strange, something evil.<\/p>\n
I do not know how long I stood there, spell-bound, but certainly for\u00a0some considerable space of time. By degrees, as nothing moved, nothing\u00a0was seen, nothing was heard, and nothing happened, I made an effort to\u00a0better play the man. I knew that, at the moment, I played the cur. And\u00a0endeavoured to ask myself of what it was I was afraid. I was shivering\u00a0at my own imaginings. What could be in the room, to have suffered me to\u00a0open the window and to enter unopposed? Whatever it was, was surely to\u00a0the full as great a coward as I was, or why permit, unchecked, my\u00a0burglarious entry. Since I had been allowed to enter, the probability\u00a0was that I should be at liberty to retreat,–and I was sensible of a\u00a0much keener desire to retreat than I had ever had to enter.<\/p>\n
I had to put the greatest amount of pressure upon myself before I could\u00a0summon up sufficient courage to enable me to even turn my head upon my\u00a0shoulders,–and the moment I did so I turned it back again. What\u00a0constrained me, to save my soul I could not have said,–but I was\u00a0constrained. My heart was palpitating in my bosom; I could hear it\u00a0beat. I was trembling so that I could scarcely stand. I was overwhelmed\u00a0by a fresh flood of terror. I stared in front of me with eyes in which,\u00a0had it been light, would have been seen the frenzy of unreasoning fear.\u00a0My ears were strained so that I listened with an acuteness of tension\u00a0which was painful.<\/p>\n
Something moved. Slightly, with so slight a sound, that it would\u00a0scarcely have been audible to other ears save mine. But I heard. I was\u00a0looking in the direction from which the movement came, and, as I\u00a0looked, I saw in front of me two specks of light. They had not been\u00a0there a moment before, that I would swear. They were there now. They\u00a0were eyes,–I told myself they were eyes. I had heard how cats’ eyes\u00a0gleam in the dark, though I had never seen them, and I said to myself\u00a0that these were cats’ eyes; that the thing in front of me was nothing\u00a0but a cat. But I knew I lied. I knew that these were eyes, and I knew\u00a0they were not cats’ eyes, but what eyes they were I did not know,–nor\u00a0dared to think.<\/p>\n
They moved,–towards me. The creature to which the eyes belonged was\u00a0coming closer. So intense was my desire to fly that I would much rather\u00a0have died than stood there still; yet I could not control a limb; my\u00a0limbs were as if they were not mine. The eyes came on,–noiselessly. At\u00a0first they were between two and three feet from the ground; but, on a\u00a0sudden, there was a squelching sound, as if some yielding body had been\u00a0squashed upon the floor. The eyes vanished,–to reappear, a moment\u00a0afterwards, at what I judged to be a distance of some six inches from\u00a0the floor. And they again came on.<\/p>\n
So it seemed that the creature, whatever it was to which the eyes\u00a0belonged, was, after all, but small. Why I did not obey the frantic\u00a0longing which I had to flee from it, I cannot tell; I only know, I\u00a0could not. I take it that the stress and privations which I had lately\u00a0undergone, and which I was, even then, still undergoing, had much to do\u00a0with my conduct at that moment, and with the part I played in all that\u00a0followed. Ordinarily I believe that I have as high a spirit as the\u00a0average man, and as solid a resolution; but when one has been dragged\u00a0through the Valley of Humiliation, and plunged, again and again, into\u00a0the Waters of Bitterness and Privation, a man can be constrained to a\u00a0course of action of which, in his happier moments, he would have deemed\u00a0himself incapable. I know this of my own knowledge.<\/p>\n
Slowly the eyes came on, with a strange slowness, and as they came they\u00a0moved from side to side as if their owner walked unevenly. Nothing\u00a0could have exceeded the horror with which I awaited their\u00a0approach,–except my incapacity to escape them. Not for an instant did\u00a0my glance pass from them,–I could not have shut my eyes for all the\u00a0gold the world contains!–so that as they came closer I had to look\u00a0right down to what seemed to be almost the level of my feet. And, at\u00a0last, they reached my feet. They never paused. On a sudden I felt\u00a0something on my boot, and, with a sense of shrinking, horror, nausea,\u00a0rendering me momentarily more helpless, I realised that the creature\u00a0was beginning to ascend my legs, to climb my body. Even then what it\u00a0was I could not tell,–it mounted me, apparently, with as much ease as\u00a0if I had been horizontal instead of perpendicular. It was as though it\u00a0were some gigantic spider,–a spider of the nightmares; a monstrous\u00a0conception of some dreadful vision. It pressed lightly against my\u00a0clothing with what might, for all the world, have been spider’s legs.\u00a0There was an amazing host of them,–I felt the pressure of each\u00a0separate one. They embraced me softly, stickily, as if the creature\u00a0glued and unglued them, each time it moved.<\/p>\n
Higher and higher! It had gained my loins. It was moving towards the\u00a0pit of my stomach. The helplessness with which I suffered its invasion\u00a0was not the least part of my agony,–it was that helplessness which we\u00a0know in dreadful dreams. I understood, quite well, that if I did but\u00a0give myself a hearty shake, the creature would fall off; but I had not\u00a0a muscle at my command.<\/p>\n
As the creature mounted its eyes began to play the part of two small\u00a0lamps; they positively emitted rays of light. By their rays I began to\u00a0perceive faint outlines of its body. It seemed larger than I had\u00a0supposed. Either the body itself was slightly phosphorescent, or it was\u00a0of a peculiar yellow hue. It gleamed in the darkness. What it was there\u00a0was still nothing to positively show, but the impression grew upon me\u00a0that it was some member of the spider family, some monstrous member, of\u00a0the like of which I had never heard or read. It was heavy, so heavy\u00a0indeed, that I wondered how, with so slight a pressure, it managed to\u00a0retain its hold,–that it did so by the aid of some adhesive substance\u00a0at the end of its legs I was sure,–I could feel it stick. Its weight\u00a0increased as it ascended,–and it smelt! I had been for some time aware\u00a0that it emitted an unpleasant, foetid odour; as it neared my face it\u00a0became so intense as to be unbearable.<\/p>\n
It was at my chest. I became more and more conscious of an\u00a0uncomfortable wobbling motion, as if each time it breathed its body\u00a0heaved. Its forelegs touched the bare skin about the base of my neck;\u00a0they stuck to it,–shall I ever forget the feeling? I have it often in\u00a0my dreams. While it hung on with those in front it seemed to draw its\u00a0other legs up after it. It crawled up my neck, with hideous slowness, a\u00a0quarter of an inch at a time, its weight compelling me to brace the\u00a0muscles of my back. It reached my chin, it touched my lips,–and I\u00a0stood still and bore it all, while it enveloped my face with its huge,\u00a0slimy, evil-smelling body, and embraced me with its myriad legs. The\u00a0horror of it made me mad. I shook myself like one stricken by the\u00a0shaking ague. I shook the creature off. It squashed upon the floor.\u00a0Shrieking like some lost spirit, turning, I dashed towards the window.\u00a0As I went, my foot, catching in some obstacle, I fell headlong to the\u00a0floor.<\/p>\n
Picking myself up as quickly as I could I resumed my flight,–rain or\u00a0no rain, oh to get out of that room! I already had my hand upon the\u00a0sill, in another instant I should have been over it,–then, despite my\u00a0hunger, my fatigues, let anyone have stopped me if they could!–when\u00a0someone behind me struck a light.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":251,"menu_order":3,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":["richard-marsh"],"pb_section_license":"public-domain"},"chapter-type":[48],"contributor":[61],"license":[50],"class_list":["post-36","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry","chapter-type-numberless","contributor-richard-marsh","license-public-domain"],"part":3,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/251"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/36\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":79,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/36\/revisions\/79"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/3"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/36\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/victoriananthology\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}