{"id":396,"date":"2018-02-27T19:36:07","date_gmt":"2018-02-27T19:36:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.ryerson.ca\/writehere\/?post_type=chapter&p=396"},"modified":"2018-09-20T12:13:35","modified_gmt":"2018-09-20T12:13:35","slug":"revising-towards-a-second-draft-of-your-two-storey-thesis","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/chapter\/revising-towards-a-second-draft-of-your-two-storey-thesis\/","title":{"raw":"Revising Towards A Second Draft of Your Two-Storey Thesis","rendered":"Revising Towards A Second Draft of Your Two-Storey Thesis"},"content":{"raw":"Congratulations! You are done the first draft of your two-storey thesis statement and are headed towards a second revision. One of the keys to revising your two-storey thesis at this stage is to remember that you are analyzing another author\u2019s complex argument. You are not being asked to voice your own opinion on the author\u2019s topic, nor make an argument that agrees or disagrees with the author\u2019s stance on the topic. Rather, you are being asked to identify the best two specific words and phrases used by the author that most clearly point to their complex argument. Those two specific pieces of evidence are the evidence that you are using to then analyze the author\u2019s complex argument in your own words. Let\u2019s walk through the evaluation together.\r\n\r\nComponents\r\n<\/strong>In a two-storey thesis, it is essential to identify the author\u2019s audience (i.e the very people the author hopes will read the article) and in which genre the author is working. Identifying the author's intended audience is important because an author will use different vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone to argue to different groups of people; an author would argue differently, for example, if they were talking to a group of high school students in Toronto, Canada, than they would speaking to a group of senior citizens in Calgary, Canada. As well, knowing what type of document the author is creating, or the genre, will help you understand the conventions and discourse in which the author is participating. The same topic could be discussed in a newspaper article or a magazine editorial or an academic journal article, but the language and presentation will be markedly different across these publications.\r\n\r\nYou can then use the understanding of the author\u2019s audience and genre to focus more tightly on the author\u2019s argument. Remember: you are not reconstructing the author\u2019s entire argument. Instead, you are writing a short essay that examines what you believe to be one of the more important arguments the author makes. To this end, you should focus on the two best pieces of evidence in support of this selected argumentative path. As this level, your reader generally knows there are many different ways to interpret an author\u2019s work in an essay: your close reading should include two pieces of evidence that best support your interpretation of the author\u2019s audience and genre. Rather than looking at the whole essay, you should focus on the one or two integral elements<\/strong> that you think offer the best evidence for your reconstruction of one of the author\u2019s focused arguments. Your two-storey thesis statement must propose an examination of the purpose and function of the author's essay; stating your opinion of the author\u2019s subject is not the goal of a close reading. Rather, your thesis should combine the components of audience, genre, and evidence to produce your focused and unique examination of the author's particular argument.\r\n\r\nFirst Storey: Evidence\/Observations\r\n<\/strong>This section asks you to examine the first storey of your two-storey thesis statement a bit more closely.\r\n
A strong piece of evidence in a close reading is one you can literally put your finger on.<\/strong><\/div>\r\nYou can not put your finger on a whole sentence or paragraph, nor can you put your finger on statements like \u201cthe author\u2019s example of\u2026\u201d or on general comments about the author\u2019s tone. In a close reading, your two pieces of evidence should be two or three words or phrases and you should use them as direct quotes (that is, they should have \"quotation marks\" around them to indicate that they are the author\u2019s words and not yours).\r\n\r\nThis section also asks you to consider the connotative value of the words<\/strong> and phrases that you have selected. Denotative<\/strong> meaning is the literal definition of a word or phrase; connotative<\/strong> meaning is the implied or suggested feeling or meaning attached to the word or phrase. Denotative and connotative are not polar opposites; both work together to expand the value of a word or phrase. For example, a rose has a very specific denotation related to the phylum of plant it belongs to; however, it has connotations of love, organic growth, and beauty. When reconstructing an author\u2019s complex argument, you want to choose words or phrases from the author\u2019s essay that have the most connotative richness that you can find.\r\n\r\nDoes each piece of your evidence add a different portion of the author\u2019s complex argument to your thesis?\r\n\r\nSecond Storey: Argument\r\n<\/strong>This section examines whether your own arguments or opinions are clouding your close reading. You must make sure that the second storey proposes an analytical examination of the author's argument in your own words and is not a declaration of your opinions on the author's subject matter. This is done by ensuring your controversial claim is an analytical response to the evidence you have identified. Focusing on the evidence from the text ensures you are focused on the author\u2019s argument and not your own. You need to identify the author\u2019s argument, via your interpretation of the text, in your own words, but you need to do so in such a way that you give the author\u2019s argument enough time and space to be complex. As mentioned in Chapter 2, it will usually take more than a few words to capture the author\u2019s argument, so do not be afraid to make your thesis statement into two sentences. The author\u2019s argument is complex and therefore your proposed examination of that argument should also be complex!\r\n\r\nStyle\r\n<\/strong>There are some simple checks you can do to make sure you are using university-level language to reconstruct the author\u2019s argument. The Style section of the evaluation asks you to consider your choice of words and phrases. While \u201cI\u201d might be an effective rhetorical device to make your own argument, it is not effective in a scholarly close reading because the focus should be on analyzing the author\u2019s argument. Phrases such as \u201cI think\u2026\u201d or \u201cI believe\u2026\u201d are not just unwarranted, they are redundant. There is no need to state such a fact\u2014of course you think and believe what you wrote!\r\n\r\nThe use of \u201cwe,\u201d \u201cour,\u201d and \u201cus\u201d is simply too broad in this context\u2014the reader has no sense of who is being represented by these general pronouns. If you are struggling with this, revisit your identification of the author\u2019s potential audience, and refer to this audience by name.\r\n\r\nWe, along with our past students, compiled a list of words that are most often too broad to use in a university-level essay, named the Control-F List, opens new window<\/span><\/a>. When reviewing your thesis, and your essay, you should use the \u201cFind\u201d function in your word processor (i.e. press Ctrl-F) and search for words like \u201csociety\u201d and \u201cpeople.\u201d Often when you use words on the Ctrl-F list, you are using the broad term when you actually mean something far more specific. Authors are rarely discussing a group as broad as \u201cpeople\u201d but are likely focused on a more specific set of individuals\u2014like, \u201cfemale first-year university students in Canada,\u201d for example. It is extremely useful to get in the habit of saying what you actually mean and using specific and precise language. Using the Ctrl-F list of broad words makes sure that you are analyzing the specific topic and argument that the author is discussing. If you are struggling with the Ctrl-F list, go back to the original text. Instead of using the generic term \u201csociety,\u201d identify the specific group of people the author is addressing or examining. Instead of using the generic term \u201ctechnology,\u201d identify the specific hardware or software the author is discussing.\r\n\r\n ","rendered":"

Congratulations! You are done the first draft of your two-storey thesis statement and are headed towards a second revision. One of the keys to revising your two-storey thesis at this stage is to remember that you are analyzing another author\u2019s complex argument. You are not being asked to voice your own opinion on the author\u2019s topic, nor make an argument that agrees or disagrees with the author\u2019s stance on the topic. Rather, you are being asked to identify the best two specific words and phrases used by the author that most clearly point to their complex argument. Those two specific pieces of evidence are the evidence that you are using to then analyze the author\u2019s complex argument in your own words. Let\u2019s walk through the evaluation together.<\/p>\n

Components
\n<\/strong>In a two-storey thesis, it is essential to identify the author\u2019s audience (i.e the very people the author hopes will read the article) and in which genre the author is working. Identifying the author’s intended audience is important because an author will use different vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone to argue to different groups of people; an author would argue differently, for example, if they were talking to a group of high school students in Toronto, Canada, than they would speaking to a group of senior citizens in Calgary, Canada. As well, knowing what type of document the author is creating, or the genre, will help you understand the conventions and discourse in which the author is participating. The same topic could be discussed in a newspaper article or a magazine editorial or an academic journal article, but the language and presentation will be markedly different across these publications.<\/p>\n

You can then use the understanding of the author\u2019s audience and genre to focus more tightly on the author\u2019s argument. Remember: you are not reconstructing the author\u2019s entire argument. Instead, you are writing a short essay that examines what you believe to be one of the more important arguments the author makes. To this end, you should focus on the two best pieces of evidence in support of this selected argumentative path. As this level, your reader generally knows there are many different ways to interpret an author\u2019s work in an essay: your close reading should include two pieces of evidence that best support your interpretation of the author\u2019s audience and genre. Rather than looking at the whole essay, you should focus on the one or two integral elements<\/strong> that you think offer the best evidence for your reconstruction of one of the author\u2019s focused arguments. Your two-storey thesis statement must propose an examination of the purpose and function of the author’s essay; stating your opinion of the author\u2019s subject is not the goal of a close reading. Rather, your thesis should combine the components of audience, genre, and evidence to produce your focused and unique examination of the author’s particular argument.<\/p>\n

First Storey: Evidence\/Observations
\n<\/strong>This section asks you to examine the first storey of your two-storey thesis statement a bit more closely.<\/p>\n

A strong piece of evidence in a close reading is one you can literally put your finger on.<\/strong><\/div>\n

You can not put your finger on a whole sentence or paragraph, nor can you put your finger on statements like \u201cthe author\u2019s example of\u2026\u201d or on general comments about the author\u2019s tone. In a close reading, your two pieces of evidence should be two or three words or phrases and you should use them as direct quotes (that is, they should have “quotation marks” around them to indicate that they are the author\u2019s words and not yours).<\/p>\n

This section also asks you to consider the connotative value of the words<\/strong> and phrases that you have selected. Denotative<\/strong> meaning is the literal definition of a word or phrase; connotative<\/strong> meaning is the implied or suggested feeling or meaning attached to the word or phrase. Denotative and connotative are not polar opposites; both work together to expand the value of a word or phrase. For example, a rose has a very specific denotation related to the phylum of plant it belongs to; however, it has connotations of love, organic growth, and beauty. When reconstructing an author\u2019s complex argument, you want to choose words or phrases from the author\u2019s essay that have the most connotative richness that you can find.<\/p>\n

Does each piece of your evidence add a different portion of the author\u2019s complex argument to your thesis?<\/p>\n

Second Storey: Argument
\n<\/strong>This section examines whether your own arguments or opinions are clouding your close reading. You must make sure that the second storey proposes an analytical examination of the author’s argument in your own words and is not a declaration of your opinions on the author’s subject matter. This is done by ensuring your controversial claim is an analytical response to the evidence you have identified. Focusing on the evidence from the text ensures you are focused on the author\u2019s argument and not your own. You need to identify the author\u2019s argument, via your interpretation of the text, in your own words, but you need to do so in such a way that you give the author\u2019s argument enough time and space to be complex. As mentioned in Chapter 2, it will usually take more than a few words to capture the author\u2019s argument, so do not be afraid to make your thesis statement into two sentences. The author\u2019s argument is complex and therefore your proposed examination of that argument should also be complex!<\/p>\n

Style
\n<\/strong>There are some simple checks you can do to make sure you are using university-level language to reconstruct the author\u2019s argument. The Style section of the evaluation asks you to consider your choice of words and phrases. While \u201cI\u201d might be an effective rhetorical device to make your own argument, it is not effective in a scholarly close reading because the focus should be on analyzing the author\u2019s argument. Phrases such as \u201cI think\u2026\u201d or \u201cI believe\u2026\u201d are not just unwarranted, they are redundant. There is no need to state such a fact\u2014of course you think and believe what you wrote!<\/p>\n

The use of \u201cwe,\u201d \u201cour,\u201d and \u201cus\u201d is simply too broad in this context\u2014the reader has no sense of who is being represented by these general pronouns. If you are struggling with this, revisit your identification of the author\u2019s potential audience, and refer to this audience by name.<\/p>\n

We, along with our past students, compiled a list of words that are most often too broad to use in a university-level essay, named the Control-F List, opens new window<\/span><\/a>. When reviewing your thesis, and your essay, you should use the \u201cFind\u201d function in your word processor (i.e. press Ctrl-F) and search for words like \u201csociety\u201d and \u201cpeople.\u201d Often when you use words on the Ctrl-F list, you are using the broad term when you actually mean something far more specific. Authors are rarely discussing a group as broad as \u201cpeople\u201d but are likely focused on a more specific set of individuals\u2014like, \u201cfemale first-year university students in Canada,\u201d for example. It is extremely useful to get in the habit of saying what you actually mean and using specific and precise language. Using the Ctrl-F list of broad words makes sure that you are analyzing the specific topic and argument that the author is discussing. If you are struggling with the Ctrl-F list, go back to the original text. Instead of using the generic term \u201csociety,\u201d identify the specific group of people the author is addressing or examining. Instead of using the generic term \u201ctechnology,\u201d identify the specific hardware or software the author is discussing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"menu_order":4,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-396","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":99,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/49"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2411,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/396\/revisions\/2411"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/99"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/396\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=396"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=396"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.library.torontomu.ca\/writehere\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}