Paired Sharing 结对分享

Objectives 目标

1. Recognize the impact of the negative thoughts that we carry
   认识到我们的负面想法对我们的影响
2. Practice defusion, i.e., relating to our negative thoughts as merely negative thoughts
   练习解离，即把我们的负面想法仅仅看作是负面想法
3. Recognize that we all share similar kinds of self-criticisms, labels, fears, and stories, increasing our compassion for self and others
   认识到我们都拥有相似的自我批评、标签、恐惧和故事，增加对自我和他人的恻隐之心。
4. Practice mindfully and compassionately relating to each other as human beings
   练习作为人类同伴，以正念和慈悲心看待彼此。

Suggested Time 建议时间

• 45 – 60 minutes 45 – 60 分钟

Number of Facilitators 小组带领者人数

• 1

Brief Description 简述：

This is mainly a paired exercise. The facilitator begins by inviting individual participants to write down on a piece of paper three negative things about themselves that they do not like: something that they are willing to share openly, something that they can only share in a safe environment, and something that find very difficult to share. They are then asked to pair up with a partner in the group, facing each other. The participants in each pair will take turns sharing just one of the negative things they had written down and the story around it, while their partner will listen mindfully, silently, and compassionately. Before and after each period of sharing, the partners will be guided to mindfully attend to each other by gazing at each other gently, silently, and compassionately, with the sound of the bell used to demarcate each change in activity from silence to sharing to silence. The participants will be coached to then engage in a second round of sharing. The only change is that the sharing is encouraged to be conducted in the form of a song or rap or spoken in an altered voice. This alteration in delivery method of the same story facilitates the practice of defusion – relating to the thoughts and narratives in a different context.
这主要是一个结对练习。在开始时，小组带领者请每位组员在一张纸上写下关于他们不喜欢自己的的三件负面的事情；一件他们愿意开诚布公地分享的，一件是他们只愿在安全的环境下分享的，以及一件他们发现很难去分享的。然后组员们会被要求和小组中的另一名伙伴结对，互相面对面。 每对中的组员将轮换着分享他们写在纸上的一样负面的事情，以及其中的故事，而他们的伙伴将要专注地、安静地和带有慈悲心地聆听。 在每一个分享阶段的之前和之后，这些结对的同伴们将要被指导温和地沉默地、富有慈悲心地注视着对方。带领者用铃声划分从沉默到分享再到沉默每个活动的变化。然后组员们将被指导进入下一轮分享。唯一的变化之处是组员们会被鼓励以唱歌或说唱的形式，或用另一种声音说话的方式分享。这种对同一故事的述说方式的改变有助于练习解离—把想法和讲述放在不同的语境之下去体会。

ACE Processes ACE 流程

• Defusion 解离
• Present Moment 当下的此刻
• Empathy and Compassion恻隐与同理心

Key Learning Points 学习要点

• All of us carry around negative judgemental thoughts about others and us. While judgements can be helpful, believing them as immutable truth can cause us to experience a sense of “stuckness” and hopelessness and we can never be at peace with others or ourselves.
  我们所有人都带着对其他人和对自己的负面的、评判性想法。 尽管评判有时可能有帮助，但相信它们是一成不变的真理会导致我们感到“卡住”和绝望，这样我们永远无法与他人或我们自己和平相处。
• The practice of defusion, i.e., relating to our self-criticisms, fears, and other stories as nothing more than internal negative thoughts and stories rather than the literal truth, can decrease the impact of these stories on us.
  解离的练习，也就是把我们的自我批评、恐惧感和其他故事看作不过是内在的负面想法和故事，而不是实际的真理，这样可以减少这些故事对我们的影响。
• As fellow humans, we all share similar kinds of self-criticisms, labels, fears, and stories about ourselves. If we recognize that all of us, including ourselves, are inherently good-natured, and that most of the time, we are acting in the best way we can at that moment, we can cultivate a sense of kindness, compassion, love, acceptance, and connection with both others and ourselves.
  同为人类，我们都有相似的自我批评、贴标签、恐惧感以及关于自己的故事。 如果我们认识到所有人，包括我们自己都是人性本善，而且大多数时候，我们都是以当时可以做到的最好的方式行事，我们就可以培养出善良，同情、爱、接纳，以及我们和其他人相连接的感受。
• Mindfully connect and relate to each other as human beings – i.e., with awareness, attention, compassion, and without judgement – can be facilitated when we lower our usual defenses and let go of the impulse to fix, advise, or correct.
  同为人类，当我们放低惯常的防御并放下要去修补、建议或纠正的冲动时，有意义的相互联系和关联——觉知、专注、同理心、不评判——将会被加强。

Materials 教學用具

• Meditation bell 冥想铃
• Timer 计时器

Instructions & Sample Script 说明和示范文稿

1. Introduction – “Our thoughts are very powerful in keeping us stuck in believing and behaving in certain ways that do not promote our wellbeing, e.g., judging ourselves and others harshly, avoiding certain actions or interactions with others, etc. But what is important is that we may be able to break free from the restrictions imposed on us by our thoughts no matter how powerful or ‘true’ they seem. So in this exercise, you have an opportunity to challenge yourself to face some of these negative thoughts.”
   介绍-“我们的想法非常有力量，它让我们固守那些不会帮我们幸福的某种信念和行动，例如，苛刻地评判自己和他人，避免某些行为及回避与他人互动等等。不过重要的是，我们可以摆脱我们的想法强加给我们的限制，无论它们看起来多么强大或“真实”。 所以在这个练习中，你有机会挑战自己，去面对一些负面的想法。”
2. List 3 negative things about oneself – “We now invite you to think of 3 words or short phrases to describe what you do not like about yourself, and write them down on your notepad. For the first one, write down something that you don’t like about yourself but feel quite comfortable to share this with others openly. For example, you may share that you are just too hard-working or perfectionistic in a job interview. For the second one, write down something you don’t like about yourself that is a bit more difficult to share, but you are still willing to share with someone whom you can trust, possibly with others in this room. For the third one, write down something that you do not like about yourself that you find very difficult to share with others, so much so that you may never tell anyone about it. We will not ask you to hand in your sheet of paper, and if you are worried that others may peek, you can even write these words in tiny hard-to-read hand-writing or scribbles.”
   列出关于你自己的三件负面的事情-“现在请你想出三个词或者短语来描述你不喜欢自己的地方，并把它们写在你的记事板上。 第一个，写下一个你不喜欢自己的，而又可以开诚布公地和其他人分享的词语或短语。 比如，你也许会在应聘面试时，坦承自己工作过分努力，或者过分追求完美。第二个，写下一个你对自己不喜欢的，又有些不太容易去分享的，但是你还是愿意与某个你信任的人，也许就是这个房间里的某个人，去分享的词语或短语。第三个，写下你不喜欢的关于你自己的词或短语，是你非常地不愿意与其他人分享的，以至于你也许永远都不会告诉任何人的。 我们不会要求你把你写的那张纸交上来，如果你担心其他人会偷看，你可以用极小的，几乎读不了的笔迹或者草草地写下来。”
3. Give instructions for story-telling in pairs.
   为结对讲故事练习提供说明;

• “Now please put away the sheet of paper. We would like you to get into pairs. You may want to pick someone whom you don’t know really well in this group. You can move your chairs around so that each pair has enough space to engage in sharing. You should be seated directly face to face across each other and be as close to each other as you feel comfortable.” (Pause and wait until the group breaks up into pairs.)
  “现在请把那张纸放到一边。请结成两人结成一组，你最好选择与这个小组里你不太了解的一个人结对。你们可以挪动自己的椅子，这样每一对都会有足够的空间分享。请面对面坐着，并且在你们觉得舒服的状态下，坐得越近越好。”（停下来等一会儿，直到小组成员分成两人一组坐好）
• “In each pair, you will be taking turns to share one of the three negative things you have written down and the story around it. You may choose from #1, #2, or #3 – and there is no need to tell your partner which one it is. You may even choose another negative thing about yourself that you have not written down, if this is more appropriate for you. Your story may include how you come to be this way, how it brings you suffering, how you struggle with it or try to change it, and how it affects you or other people, etc. While one of you is telling the story for 2 minutes, the other person will be the listener.  As the listener, your role is to be fully present and to be here to bear witness to what your partner is sharing. You do not need to make any comments, gestures, or response … no need to nod or shake your head … no need to provide counseling or advice. Just see if you can do the best of your ability maintain eye contact, open your heart, and listen attentively and compassionately. Do you have any questions about this? Now decide amongst yourself which of you will share first… Raise your hand if you are the first one to share so that we are all clear about who goes first.” (Pause and wait until one person from each pair raise his/her hand.)
  “在每一对成员中，你们将要轮流分享那三个你已经写下来的，负面的词语或短语当中的一个，以及和它相关的故事。你也许会选择第一个, 第二个, 或者第三个—你不必告诉你的同伴是哪一个。你甚至可以选择你并没有写下来的，另一件关于你自己的负面的事情，只要你觉得这个更适合。 你讲的故事可以包括诸如你是怎样变成这样的，这样带给你怎样的痛苦，你怎样为此挣扎或者试图去改变它，以及它对你和其他人的影响，等等。你们中的一个讲述两分钟，另一个要聆听。作为聆听者，你的角色是做到全心投入，并且在这里见证你同伴的分享。你不必做任何评论，有任何手势和反应…不必点头，摇头…不必提供咨询或者建议。你只要尽力保持目光接触，心胸开放，专注而富有慈悲心地倾听。大家有什么问题吗？ 现在你们自己决定谁先分享…如果你是那个先分享的人，请举手，这样我们大家都清楚谁先来。”（停下来等一会儿，直到每一对中都有一个人举起了他们的手。）
  
• “the sharing begins and right after it, we will be practicing mindfulness with each other. What this means is that I will be inviting you to look at your partner for a minute in silence. This is not a starring contest. Instead, you will be looking at each other gently, mindfully, and compassionately, appreciating and honoring the person in front of you for engaging in this exercise with you, as you have the privilege of listening and sharing your inner stories with each other. Be present to this experience and honor this moment. This may be quite different from what you are used to or your usual cultural rules or etiquettes. You may be feeling anxious or uncomfortable. See if you are willing to try something differently in the service of being present, being open, and making a compassionate connection with your partner. If you have to look away or look down or giggle, that is ok; just try your best to re-try engage with each other in eye contact to the best of your ability and willingness. Do you have any questions about this part?”
  “接下来，我们将要和对方一起练习正念。也就是说，我将请你用一分钟时间静静地看着你的同伴的眼睛。这不是注目比赛。 相反，你要温和地、专注地、富有慈悲心地看着对方，欣赏和尊重你面前的人与你一起参与这个练习，因为你们有这个荣幸互相聆听和分享你们内心的故事。专注此时，尊重此刻。这可能与您习惯的或您通常的文化规范或礼仪有很大不同。 您可能会感到焦虑或不舒服。看看你是否愿意尝试不同的体验，以帮助你专注、开放、与你的同伴建立富有慈悲心的连接。 如果你不得不看别处，向下看或偷笑，那也没关系; 尽你所能，尽最大努力再次尝试彼此眼神接触。你们对这部分有任何疑问吗？“
• “So in summary, we will begin with a minute of silence, followed by the first person sharing, followed by another minute of silence, then switching roles for the other person to share, and ending with a final minute of silence. To guide you along, I will be ringing the bell to signify each part and prompt you with reminders about what to do next, so do not worry if you do not remember all of these steps. Do you have any questions before we begin?”
  “让我们总结一下，我们将以一分钟的静默开始，接着是第一个人分享，接着是另一个一分钟静默，然后换成另一个人分享，最后再以一分钟静默结束。为了引导您，我将敲铃表示每个步骤，并提示你下一步该做什么，所以即使你不记得所有这些步骤，也请不要担心。在我们开始之前你有任何问题吗？

4. Ring the bell and give guidance for paired story-telling:
   敲铃，为结对分享故事练习提供导引。

• Ring the bell to start one-minute of silence. “Let’s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with gentle gaze… Look at each other with compassion and appreciation…”
  敲铃，开始一分钟静默。“让我们以一分钟静默开始练习。看看你是否可以和你面前的同伴以温和的注视相连接…带着恻隐和欣赏的心看着对方…”
• Ring the bell to begin a two-minute of sharing. “The first person to share can now tell your story to your partner – what you don’t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.”
  敲铃，开始两分钟分享。“第一个分享的人现在可以向你的同伴讲述你的故事—你不喜欢自己什么，你是怎样竭力去改变它，它是怎样影响到你和其他人的。”
• Ring the bell to begin another minute of silence. “Now let’s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. One of you just shared something personal. Let’s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.”
  敲铃，开始另一个一分钟静默。“现在，让我们开始下一个一分钟静默，并且和对方再次连接。你们中的一个刚刚分享了他个人的事情。让我们专注地注视对方，并且用欣赏和同情表示对彼此的尊重。”
• Ring the bell to begin a two-minute of sharing. “Now we will switch roles. The second person to share can now tell your story to your partner – what you don’t like about yourself, how you struggle to change it, and how it affects you or other people.”
  敲响铃声，开始两分钟分享练习。 “现在我们将转换角色。 第二个分享的人现在可以向你的同伴讲述你的故事 – 你不喜欢自己的地方，你如何努力改变它，以及它如何影响你或他人。
• Ring the bell to mark the final minute of silence. “Now let’s have a final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Both of you just shared something personal. Let’s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.”
  敲响铃声以表示最后一分钟的静默。 “现在让我们做最后一分钟的静默练习，并相互重新连接。 你们俩刚刚分享了一些个人的事情。 让我们专注地看着彼此，并以欣赏和同情的方式去尊重彼此。“

5. Give instructions for story-singing in pairs. “We are now ready for the second part of the exercise! We will be doing something very similar to what you have just done. In the exact same sequence as before, we will ask you to connect with each other for a minute, followed by 2 minutes of sharing by the first person, then a minute of reconnection, switch roles for the other person to share for 2 minutes, and end with a final minute of reconnection. You will use the same story and even pretty much the same words. The only difference is that in sharing your story, we would invite you not to speak the story but to sing it. ‘You – can – sing – it – to – any – tune – you – like’ [sing this sentence]. You can pick any song or tune you like. You can even use the most common songs, e.g., children songs, birthday song, etc. You may also rap. This is not a singing contest, but simply try sharing your story in a different way. We would encourage you to try singing it! If you are really really stuck, you can also try retelling the story in an altered voice, e.g., imaginary cartoon character’s high-pitch voice … or recite this story like an epic and ancient poem… Any questions about this?”
   结对唱故事练习的说明。 “我们现在准备好进行第二部分练习！ 我们将做一些与您刚才所做的非常相似的事情。按照与以前完全相同的顺序，我们会要求你花一分钟时间彼此相连接，然后由第一个人分享2分钟，然后重新连接一分钟，互换角色让另一个人分享2分钟， 并以最后一个一分钟的重新连接而结束。你将使用相同的故事，甚至几乎相同的词语。 唯一的区别是，在分享你的故事时，我们会请你不要讲出故事，而是唱歌。 ‘你 – 可以 – 用 – – 任何 – 曲调 – 去唱 – 就像'[唱出这句话]。你可以选择你喜欢的任何歌曲或曲调。 你甚至可以使用最常见的歌曲，例如儿歌，生日歌等。你也可以说唱。 这不是一场歌唱比赛，只是要尝试以不同的方式分享你的故事。我们鼓励你试着唱吧！ 如果你真的被卡住了，你也可以尝试用变调的声音重述这个故事，例如，想象中的卡通人物的高声调…….或者像史诗和古诗一样诵读这个故事……对此有任何问题吗？
6. Ring the bell and give guidance for paired story-singing: 敲响铃声，为结对唱出故事提供指导：

• Ring the bell to start one-minute of silence. “Let’s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. See if you can just connect with your partner in front of you with gentle gaze… Look at each other with compassion and appreciation…”
  敲响铃声，开始一分钟静默。让我们以一分钟的静默开始练习。看看你是否能够以温和的目光与你对面的同伴连接…….以恻隐心和欣赏来看着对方……“
• Ring the bell to begin a two-minute of singing. “The first person to share can now sing your story to your partner!”
  敲响铃声，开始两分钟唱歌。 第一个分享的人现在可以向你的同伴唱出你的故事！”
• Ring the bell to begin another minute of silence. “Now let’s have another minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let’s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion.”
  敲响钟声，开始另一个一分钟的静默。“现在让我们再用一分钟的静默并相互重新连接。 让我们专注地看着对方，并以欣赏和同情的方式表示彼此的尊重。”
• Ring the bell to begin a two-minute of singing. “Now we will switch roles. The second person to share can now sing your story to your partner!”
  敲响钟声，开始两分钟唱歌。 “现在我们将转换角色。第二个分享的人现在可以向你的同伴唱出你的故事！
• Ring the bell to mark the final minute of silence. “Now let’s have this final minute of silence and reconnect with each other. Let’s look at each other mindfully and honour each other with appreciation and compassion. As this is the final step of this exercise, and this may be your only chance to have this opportunity to connect with your partner in this particular way in this particular moment, see if you can really treasure this final minute of connection with one another.”
  敲响钟声，标示最后一分钟的静默。 “现在让我们做最后一分钟的静默练习，并相互重新连结。 让我们专注地看着对方，并以欣赏和同情的方式表示彼此的尊重。 由于这是本练习的最后一步，这可能是这特别的时刻以这种特殊方式与你的同伴连结的唯一机会，看看您是否真的可以珍惜彼此之间的最后一分钟连接。”

7. Close the exercise for debriefing. “Now please thank your partner. We can reform the group for debriefing.”
   结束练习准备小结。“现在请感谢你的同伴。我们可以重新变回小组，大家一起做小结。”

Debriefing & Sample Scripts 小结和示范文稿

The power of fused negative thoughts 融合的负面想法的威力

• “What was it like to find the three negative things about yourself? Was it easy or difficult? Notice that everyone has things about themselves that they do not like. We share similar struggles and you are not alone in this.”
  “找到关于你自己的三个负面的事物是什么感觉？ 是容易还是困难？ 请注意，每个人都有自己不喜欢的事物。 我们都有着相似的挣扎，你并不是一个人。
• “Even though they are ‘just words’ and in this perspective, #1, #2 and #3 are all just the same, notice how we tend to give meaning and different weightings to these words so that we can compare and rank them. Yet, do these words really describe who you are in this present moment? Do they diminish you in some way? So, it may be helpful to practice treating them as just words and not imbue them with so much power over us. We can begin to embrace and fully accept ourselves in this moment.”
  “然而它们‘只是词语’，而且从这个视角看，第一个词语、第二个和第三个都是一样的，请留意我们是如何倾向于给这些词语赋予意义和不同的分量，以便我们可以对它们进行比较和排序的。然而，这些话真的描述了此刻的你吗？ 它们是否以某种方式削弱了你？ 因此，将它们视为词语并且不要赋予它们如此强大的压向我们的力量，可能会对我们有所帮助。 我们可以在这一刻开始拥抱并完全接纳自己。”

Mindful attention to one another 专注于对方

• “What was it like to just simply look at each other without words?” “
  不说话，只是看着对方是什么感觉？”
• “It is quite common to feel discomfort. There are many social and cultural rules that we have internalized, including not looking at each other, and so it may feel much safer to avoid looking at each other. If you observe people’s behaviors on an elevator, we always try to maximize our distance from others and avoid eye contact. We may be often on-guard and weary of each other. If this was ancient times where there were dangers everywhere, this might have been very appropriate. If you are in a dark alley in certain parts of the world, eye contact may indeed be unsafe. Is this always necessary though and what is the cost of this avoidance in our lives? This exercise invites us to experience what it may be like if we were to drop our usual ‘defenses’ against each other and our natural tendency to avoid… and instead, be fully being present with each other. Mindfulness is paying attention without judgement, and this exercise invites us to extend this mindful attention to really connect with one another with appreciation and compassion. It does not mean you have to look at people like this all the time. In fact, people may not like it if you do this on your way home! However, we can create a safe space in here for us to experience this connection with each other in this context. Notice how we can take the time to appreciate each other fully as human beings, and not getting hooked by any judgements, stories, or labels… and not getting busy in trying to fix each other. We can practice connecting with others in our lives with this quality of mindfulness, compassion, and appreciation.”
  “感到不适是很常见的。许多社会和文化规范已经被我们内化，包括不相互看向对方，因为避免看向彼此可能会感觉更安全。如果您观察人们在电梯上的行为，人们总是尽量扩大与他人的距离并避免目光接触。 我们可能经常保持对外人警惕并彼此厌倦。如果这是在处处有危险的在古代，这样做可能是非常合适的。如果你身处世界某些地方的黑暗小巷，目光接触可能确实不安全。避免目光接触总是必要的吗？这种回避让我们在人生中付出了什么代价？这个练习邀请我们去体验，如果我们放下我们惯常的相互“防御”和回避的天性 ……反而，全然地专注地和对方在一起，我们会是什么感觉。 正念是不评判地专注，而这个练习帮助我们扩展我们的注意力，从而真正地以欣赏和共情彼此相连。 这并不意味着你必须一直这样看着别人。事实上，如果你在回家的路上这样做，人们可能不喜欢！ 但是，我们可以在这里创建一个安全的空间，让我们在此情此景之下相互体验这种连接。请留意我们能够花时间作为人类充分欣赏彼此，而不是被任何评判、故事或标签所钩住……也不是忙于互相修正。 我们可以通过这种正念、恻隐心和欣赏来练习与我们生活中的其他人相连接。

Telling vs Singing the Story – Fusion vs Defusion 讲出故事vs唱出故事—融合vs解离

• “What was it like to share your story with your partner? Did you feel any difference between telling your story and singing your story? How did singing your story change the experience for you?”
  “与你的同伴分享你的故事是什么感觉？ 讲述你的故事和唱出你的故事你觉得有什么不同吗？ 唱出你的故事改变了你的体验吗？“
• Often, people will feel that their stories are “lighter” and “less serious” when they sing, which is the effect of defusion and the point of the exercise. Others may focus on how self-conscious they are when singing or how they did not like the singing experience. The facilitator can invite them to notice that even if they just focused on how well they sang, they were already no longer being hooked by the actual content of the story at that moment, even though they may be “fused” with other kinds of thoughts, such as whether they liked singing or whether they were good singers. Occasionally, there may be participants who would share that singing makes their stories even more real or upsetting. In this case, it can be noted that just by changing how we relate to the same words and same stories may either increase or decrease their apparent “realness”, which is the story’s “power” over us, and in this case, it becomes an illustration of the process of “fusion”.
  通常，人们会在他们唱歌时感到他们的故事“更轻松”和“不那么严肃”了，这是解离的作用和练习的重点。还有人可能会将注意力在他们唱歌时的自我意识上，或者他们不喜欢唱歌的体验上。小组带领者可以启发他们注意到即使他们只是专注于自己唱的怎样，即使他们可能和其他的想法融合了，比如他们是否喜欢唱歌或者他们是不是一名好的歌手，在那时他们已经不再被故事里的实际内容钩住。偶尔，可能会有组员分享这种歌唱使他们的故事更加真实或令人沮丧。在这种情况下，可以注意到，仅仅通过改变我们与相同词语和相同故事的关系，就可以增加或减少它们显现的“真实性”，这是故事对我们的“力量”，在这种情况下，它成为 “融合”过程的例证。
• Discuss how singing is an example of a defusion technique, and this can be used when we feel ‘stuck’ with our thoughts. There are other defusion techniques as well, and the facilitator can also introduce them (see handout). People may find other techniques more useful for them or that some techniques become more helpful in certain circumstances.
  和大家一起讨论唱歌怎样是解离技术的一个实例，可以在我们感到被我们的想法“卡住“时使用。当然还有其他的解离技术，小组带领者也可以介绍它们（见讲义）。 人们可能会发现其他技术对他们更有用，或者某些技术在某种情况下变得更有帮助。
• “Internalized words, stories, and rules about what is wrong with us or others can be powerful in influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, especially when we are unaware of their influence and take them for granted as reality or as unbreakable rules that we have to follow. We can free ourselves by treating them as what they really are – just words, thoughts, and stories – and use different ways, such as singing, to loosen their grip on us. We call this ‘defusion’ – which means getting unstuck from our thoughts. We do not have to take our thoughts so literally and seriously. It is the opposite of ‘fusion’ – which is getting stuck with our thoughts, even when the thought is not helpful to others or us. Today we explored singing to each other about our stories. There are many other ways we can practice ‘defusion’, i.e., relating to our thoughts as just thoughts, no matter how ‘true’ they seem. It would be great if you can try out some of these other methods at home too.”
  “那些关于我们或其他人有什么毛病的内化词语、故事和规则在影响我们的想法、感受和行为方面可能是非常有力量的，尤其是当我们对它们的影响没有觉察，并将它们视为现实或作为牢不可破的、我们必须遵循的规则时。我们可以按其本来面目对待它们——只是词语，想法和故事——来解放我们自己，并使用不同的方式，例如唱歌，减轻其对我们的控制。我们称之为“解离”——这意味着从我们的想法中解脱出来。我们不必如此认真地对待我们的想法。它与“融合”相反——融合就是陷入我们的想法中，即使这种想法对他人或我们没有帮助。今天我们尝试了向彼此唱出我们故事。我们可以通过许多其他方式来练习“解离”，即无论它们看起来多么“真实”，也把我们的想法就看作是想法而已。如果你能在家里尝试其他一些方法，那将会很棒。”

Specific Application 具体应用

• Stigma – “We may come to have stigmatizing thoughts against others or ourselves. With internalized stigma, we may even hold other negative beliefs about ourselves, such as ‘it must be my fault… I can never be like others …’ By practicing defusion, we can learn to appreciate each other and ourselves deeply, compassionately, and equitably as human beings, and these negative and biases beliefs and stories will not have so much power in influencing our actions. Just like the invitation to look at each other mindfully, we can even outreach to connect and support others, even if we are not used to doing it.”
  污名化——“我们可能会对他人或我们自己产生耻辱的想法。 随着内在的污名化，我们甚至可能对自己持有其他负面信念，例如‘这一定是我的错……’‘我永远不会像其他人一样……’通过练习解离，我们可以学会作为人类而深深地、慈悲地、和平等地相互欣赏，而那些消极和偏颇的信仰和故事并没有那么大的力量影响我们的行为。 就像号召大家专注地看着对方一样，即使我们还不习惯，我们还是可以伸出双臂去连接及支持他人。”

References 参考

• Inspired by Create A Song in in Hayes, S. C. with Smith, S. (2005). Get out of your mind and into your life (p.80). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publication, Inc.