Activity 2.4.3 Pair singing of stories and rules about stigma

ACT Processes:

• Defusion

Objectives:

• To weaken the literal meaning of stories and rules among participants
• To weaken the perceived barriers to more effective action among participants; and
• To encourage greater flexibility towards action among participants

Participation Format:

• Participants work in pairs. Participants move their chairs around to get into pairs.
• Co-facilitators walk around to observe the interactions in different dyads.

Number of Facilitators:

• 2

Time Required:

• 40 mins

Materials Required:

• A mindfulness bell
• A watch/clock for timing
• Appendix 2.4.3: Cognitive Defusion Techniques

Activities & Instructions

Instructions for participants

• Facilitator #2: The next activity we are going to do is sharing stories. We would like you to get into pairs. You can move your chairs around so each pair has some space to engage in sharing. You should be seated face to face as close to each other as you feel comfortable. (Pause until each pair has settled in their space.)
• Facilitator #2 continues: In each pair, one of you will be the storyteller and the other person will be the listener. The storyteller will speak for 2 minutes while the listener listens. Then you will hear a bell. We will take a one-minute break, and we will then ask you to switch roles, so that the listener will become the storyteller and speak for 2 minutes while the other listens. Decide who will be the storyteller first. Raise your hand so that we know that each pair is clear on who is going first.”
• Facilitator #2 continues: When it is your turn speak, we invite you to tell your partner a story or a difficult area in your life, and share with him/her the suffering your have experienced. If at all possible, share a story around your label or one of the other negative adjectives you have written down about yourself. When you are the listener, your role is to listen without making any comment, gesture, or response. You do not need to provide counselling or advice. Just maintain eye contact and listen attentively and compassionately.
• Ensure that the participants are clear with the instructions.
• Facilitator #2 continues: Let’s begin the exercise with a minute of silence. Look at each other in appreciation that you are about to share some personal stories with each other. Be present for this experience and honour this moment. While this exercise may depart from your usual behaviours, see if you are willing to allow yourself this moment to act differently in the service of being present, opening up, and making a compassionate connection with your partner.
• After this, facilitators can sound the bell to start the exercise and time the sharing. Instruct participants to stop at 2 minutes by sounding a bell. Allow the talking to die down, and have another minute of silence, with the participants again looking at each other and being present with one another in appreciation. Facilitators restart the exercise again, time the second set of sharing, and stop the activity after 2 minutes. This will be followed by another minute of silence.
• Facilitator #2: Now we will ask you to take turns to share the same story again except this time, you will not speak about your story but sing your story in any tune you like. Again, each of you has 2 minutes to do this. (If participants protest that they do not know any songs, reassure them that they can pick any song – even birthday song or national anthem or rap. The facilitator demonstrating a few bars of song is helpful. If someone is really stuck, they can retell the story in a different voice e.g., an imaginary cartoon character’s voice.)
• Start with another minute of silence. Facilitators then time the singing and instruct participants to stop after 2 minutes. After a minute of silence, facilitator continues to time the second set of singing and stop the activity after 2 minutes. After a minute of silence, allow the participants to thank each other, and bring all participants back to the large circle for debriefing.
• Facilitator #2: Now we invite you to come back to the large circle and share with us what this experience was like for you.
  • Did you feel any difference between telling your story and singing your story?
  • How did singing your story change the experience for you?
• After participants share their experience, Facilitator #2 highlights how Activities 2.4.1, 2.4.2, and 2.4.3 have worked in concertto show us that:
  • Internalized rules and stories about mental illness, about what is wrong with us or others, and about who we are can be powerful in influencing our behaviours, especially when we are unaware of their influence and take them for granted as the reality or as unbreakable rules that we have to follow.
  • We can free ourselves from these arbitrary rules by treating them as what they are – words and thoughts and stories – and use different ways such as singing to loosen their grip on us. We sometimes call this defusion,which means getting unstuck from our thoughts. We do not have to take our thoughts so seriously. It is the opposite of ‘fusion’ – or getting stuck with our thoughts – even when it is harmful to us or others.
  • “Today we explored singing to each other about our stories. There are many other ways we can practice defusion – seeing our thoughts as thoughts, no matter how true they seem. (Give out handouts.) It would be great if you can try out some of these other methods at home too.
  • We can learn to see and appreciate ourselves for who we are as human beings and not our labels or stories, just as we can learn to look at others compassionately as fellow human beings, and not as their labels or stories we hear”

References & Sources

• • Adapted and created based on Create A Song (Hayes & Smith, 2005, p. 80)

Appendix 2.4.3: Cognitive Defusion Techniques

These are some techniques to help us defuse our thoughts – to see thoughts as just thoughts – nothing more and nothing less – rather than being trapped and dictated by our thoughts.

1. The Mind
   Treat the mind as an external event, almost as a separate person (e.g., “Well, there goes my mind again” or “My mind is worrying again”).
2. Thought Labelling
   Label your thoughts as thoughts (e.g., “I am having a thought that I will not be able to champion or change”) or label the type of thought (e.g., “I am having a judgment that my illness is too terrible to have” or “I am having a prediction that people will not listen to me”).
3. Get off your but!
   Replace “but” with “and” (e.g., “I would like to speak out on stigma, but I may get nervous” becomes “I would like to speak out on stigma and I may get nervous”).
4. Use a variety of vocalizations
   Say the thought very slowly, say it in a different voice, sing it, etc.
5. Thank your mind
   Thank your mind when you notice it butting in with worries and judgments (e.g., “Thank you mind. You’re doing a great job of scaring me today”). This is not sarcasm…after all, the mind is doing exactly what it was designed to do all of those thousands of years ago- “problem solve” and avoid danger.
6. Say the thought out loud quickly and repeat it until it loses its meaning (e.g., I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless, I’m useless,………………..).
7. Imagine that thoughts are like:
   • Internet pop-up ads.
   • a ringing cell phone you can’t turn off (e.g., “Hello. This is your mind speaking. Don’t do too much because you are going to regret it”, etc.).
   • clouds floating across the sky.
   • leaves floating down a stream. You don’t have to dive in. You can watch from a bridge.
   • a waterfall. You’re standing behind it, not under it.
   • guests entering a hotel. You can be like the doorman: you greet the guests but you don’t follow them to their rooms.
   • actors on a stage. You can watch the play; you don’t need to get on stage and perform.
   • a passing parade. You can watch the floats pass by. You don’t have to climb on board.
   • suitcases dropping onto a conveyor belt at the airport. You can watch them pass by, without having to pick them up.
8. Buying thoughts
   Distinguish between thoughts that just occur and the thoughts that are believed (e.g., “I guess I’m “buying” the thought that I’m hopeless”).
9. And how has that worked for me?
   When you are buying a thought, back up for a moment and ask yourself, “How has that worked for me?” and if it hasn’t worked ask, “Which should I be guided by, my mind or my experience?”
10. Create your own defusion strategy!