30 September.—I got home at five o’clock, and found that
Godalming and Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied
the transcript of the various diaries and letters which Harker had
not yet returned from his visit to the carriers’ men, of whom Dr.
Hennessey had written to me. Mrs. Harker gave us a cup of tea, and
I can honestly say that, for the first time since I have lived in
it, this old house seemed like home. When we had finished, Mrs.
Harker said,
“Dr. Seward, may I ask a favor? I want to see your patient, Mr.
Renfield. Do let me see him. What you have said of him in your
diary interests me so much!”
She looked so appealing and so pretty that I could not refuse
her, and there was no possible reason why I should, so I took her
with me. When I went into the room, I told the man that a lady
would like to see him, to which he simply answered, “Why?”
“She is going through the house, and wants to see every one in
it,” I answered.
“Oh, very well,” he said,”let her come in, by all means, but
just wait a minute till I tidy up the place.”
His method of tidying was peculiar, he simply swallowed all the
flies and spiders in the boxes before I could stop him. It was
quite evident that he feared, or was jealous of, some interference.
When he had got through his disgusting task, he said cheerfully,
“Let the lady come in,” and sat down on the edge of his bed with
his head down, but with his eyelids raised so that he could see her
as she entered. For a moment I thought that he might have some
homicidal intent. I remembered how quiet he had been just before he
attacked me in my own study, and I took care to stand where I could
seize him at once if he attempted to make a spring at her.
She came into the room with an easy gracefulness which would at
once command the respect of any lunatic, for easiness is one of the
qualities mad people most respect. She walked over to him, smiling
pleasantly, and held out her hand.
“Good evening, Mr. Renfield,” said she. “You see, I know you,
for Dr. Seward has told me of you.” He made no immediate reply, but
eyed her all over intently with a set frown on his face. This look
gave way to one of wonder, which merged in doubt, then to my
intense astonishment he said, “You’re not the girl the doctor
wanted to marry, are you? You can’t be, you know, for she’s
dead.”
Mrs. Harker smiled sweetly as she replied, “Oh no! I have a
husband of my own, to whom I was married before I ever saw Dr.
Seward, or he me. I am Mrs. Harker.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“My husband and I are staying on a visit with Dr. Seward.”
“Then don’t stay.”
“But why not?”
I thought that this style of conversation might not be pleasant
to Mrs. Harker, any more than it was to me, so I joined in, “How
did you know I wanted to marry anyone?”
His reply was simply contemptuous, given in a pause in which he
turned his eyes from Mrs. Harker to me, instantly turning them back
again, “What an asinine question!”
“I don’t see that at all, Mr. Renfield,”said Mrs. Harker, at
once championing me.
He replied to her with as much courtesy and respect as he had
shown contempt to me, “You will, of course, understand, Mrs.
Harker, that when a man is so loved and honored as our host is,
everything regarding him is of interest in our little community.
Dr. Seward is loved not only by his household and his friends, but
even by his patients, who, being some of them hardly in mental
equilibrium, are apt to distort causes and effects. Since I myself
have been an inmate of a lunatic asylum, I cannot but notice that
the sophistic tendencies of some of its inmates lean towards the
errors of non causa and ignoratio elenche.”
I positively opened my eyes at this new development. Here was my
own pet lunatic, the most pronounced of his type that I had ever
met with, talking elemental philosophy, and with the manner of a
polished gentleman. I wonder if it was Mrs. Harker’s presence which
had touched some chord in his memory. If this new phase was
spontaneous, or in any way due to her unconscious influence, she
must have some rare gift or power.
We continued to talk for some time, and seeing that he was
seemingly quite reasonable, she ventured, looking at me
questioningly as she began, to lead him to his favorite topic. I
was again astonished, for he addressed himself to the question with
the impartiality of the completest sanity. He even took himself as
an example when he mentioned certain things.
“Why, I myself am an instance of a man who had a strange belief.
Indeed, it was no wonder that my friends were alarmed, and insisted
on my being put under control. I used to fancy that life was a
positive and perpetual entity, and that by consuming a multitude of
live things, no matter how low in the scale of creation, one might
indefinitely prolong life. At times I held the belief so strongly
that I actually tried to take human life. The doctor here will bear
me out that on one occasion I tried to kill him for the purpose of
strengthening my vital powers by the assimilation with my own body
of his life through the medium of his blood, relying of course,
upon the Scriptural phrase, `For the blood is the life.’ Though,
indeed, the vendor of a certain nostrum has vulgarized the truism
to the very point of contempt. Isn’t that true, doctor?”
I nodded assent, for I was so amazed that I hardly knew what to
either think or say, it was hard to imagine that I had seen him eat
up his spiders and flies not five minutes before. Looking at my
watch, I saw that I should go to the station to meet Van Helsing,
so I told Mrs. Harker that it was time to leave.
She came at once, after saying pleasantly to Mr. Renfield,
“Goodbye, and I hope I may see you often, under auspices pleasanter
to yourself.”
To which, to my astonishment, he replied, “Goodbye, my dear. I
pray God I may never see your sweet face again. May He bless and
keep you!”
When I went to the station to meet Van Helsing I left the boys
behind me. Poor Art seemed more cheerful than he has been since
Lucy first took ill, and Quincey is more like his own bright self
than he has been for many a long day.
Van Helsing stepped from the carriage with the eager nimbleness
of a boy. He saw me at once, and rushed up to me, saying, “Ah,
friend John, how goes all? Well? So! I have been busy, for I come
here to stay if need be. All affairs are settled with me, and I
have much to tell. Madam Mina is with you? Yes. And her so fine
husband? And Arthur and my friend Quincey, they are with you, too?
Good!”
As I drove to the house I told him of what had passed, and of
how my own diary had come to be of some use through Mrs. Harker’s
suggestion, at which the Professor interrupted me.
“Ah, that wonderful Madam Mina! She has man’s brain, a brain
that a man should have were he much gifted, and a woman’s heart.
The good God fashioned her for a purpose, believe me, when He made
that so good combination. Friend John, up to now fortune has made
that woman of help to us, after tonight she must not have to do
with this so terrible affair. It is not good that she run a risk so
great. We men are determined, nay, are we not pledged, to destroy
this monster? But it is no part for a woman. Even if she be not
harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors and
hereafter she may suffer, both in waking,from her nerves, and in
sleep,from her dreams. And, besides, she is young woman and not so
long married, there may be other things to think of some time, if
not now. You tell me she has wrote all, then she must consult with
us, but tomorrow she say goodbye to this work, and we go
alone.”
I agreed heartily with him, and then I told him what we had
found in his absence, that the house which Dracula had bought was
the very next one to my own. He was amazed, and a great concern
seemed to come on him.
“Oh that we had known it before!” he said, “for then we might
have reached him in time to save poor Lucy. However, `the milk that
is spilt cries not out afterwards,’as you say. We shall not think
of that, but go on our way to the end.” Then he fell into a silence
that lasted till we entered my own gateway. Before we went to
prepare for dinner he said to Mrs. Harker, “I am told, Madam Mina,
by my friend John that you and your husband have put up in exact
order all things that have been, up to this moment.”
“Not up to this moment, Professor,”she said impulsively, “but up
to this morning.”
“But why not up to now? We have seen hitherto how good light all
the little things have made. We have told our secrets, and yet no
one who has told is the worse for it.”
Mrs. Harker began to blush, and taking a paper from her pockets,
she said, “Dr. Van Helsing, will you read this, and tell me if it
must go in. It is my record of today. I too have seen the need of
putting down at present everything, however trivial, but there is
little in this except what is personal. Must it go in?”
The Professor read it over gravely, and handed it back, saying,
“It need not go in if you do not wish it, but I pray that it may.
It can but make your husband love you the more, and all us, your
friends, more honor you, as well as more esteem and love.” She took
it back with another blush and a bright smile.
And so now, up to this very hour, all the records we have are
complete and in order. The Professor took away one copy to study
after dinner, and before our meeting, which is fixed for nine
o’clock. The rest of us have already read everything, so when we
meet in the study we shall all be informed as to facts, and can
arrange our plan of battle with this terrible and mysterious
enemy.
MINA HARKER’S JOURNAL
30 September.—When we met in Dr. Seward’s study two hours after
dinner, which had been at six o’clock, we unconsciously formed a
sort of board or committee. Professor Van Helsing took the head of
the table, to which Dr. Seward motioned him as he came into the
room. He made me sit next to him on his right, and asked me to act
as secretary. Jonathan sat next to me. Opposite us were Lord
Godalming, Dr. Seward, and Mr. Morris, Lord Godalming being next
the Professor, and Dr. Seward in the center.
The Professor said, “I may, I suppose, take it that we are all
acquainted with the facts that are in these papers.” We all
expressed assent, and he went on, “Then it were, I think, good that
I tell you something of the kind of enemy with which we have to
deal. I shall then make known to you something of the history of
this man, which has been ascertained for me. So we then can discuss
how we shall act, and can take our measure according.
“There are such beings as vampires, some of us have evidence
that they exist. Even had we not the proof of our own unhappy
experience, the teachings and the records of the past give proof
enough for sane peoples. I admit that at the first I was sceptic.
Were it not that through long years I have trained myself to keep
an open mind, I could not have believed until such time as that
fact thunder on my ear.`See! See! I prove, I prove.’ Alas! Had I
known at first what now I know, nay, had I even guess at him, one
so precious life had been spared to many of us who did love her.
But that is gone, and we must so work, that other poor souls perish
not, whilst we can save. The nosferatu do not die like the bee when
he sting once. He is only stronger, and being stronger, have yet
more power to work evil. This vampire which is amongst us is of
himself so strong in person as twenty men, he is of cunning more
than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages, he have still
the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply, the
divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh to
are for him at command, he is brute, and more than brute, he is
devil in callous, and the heart of him is not, he can, within his
range, direct the elements, the storm, the fog, the thunder, he can
command all the meaner things, the rat, and the owl, and the bat,
the moth, and the fox, and the wolf, he can grow and become small,
and he can at times vanish and come unknown. How then are we to
begin our strike to destroy him? How shall we find his where, and
having found it, how can we destroy? My friends, this is much, it
is a terrible task that we undertake, and there may be consequence
to make the brave shudder. For if we fail in this our fight he must
surely win, and then where end we? Life is nothings, I heed him
not. But to fail here, is not mere life or death. It is that we
become as him, that we henceforward become foul things of the night
like him, without heart or conscience, preying on the bodies and
the souls of those we love best. To us forever are the gates of
heaven shut, for who shall open them to us again? We go on for all
time abhorred by all, a blot on the face of God’s sunshine, an
arrow in the side of Him who died for man. But we are face to face
with duty, and in such case must we shrink? For me, I say no, but
then I am old, and life, with his sunshine, his fair places, his
song of birds, his music and his love, lie far behind. You others
are young. Some have seen sorrow, but there are fair days yet in
store. What say you?”
Whilst he was speaking, Jonathan had taken my hand. I feared, oh
so much, that the appalling nature of our danger was overcoming him
when I saw his hand stretch out, but it was life to me to feel its
touch, so strong, so self reliant, so resolute. A brave man’s hand
can speak for itself, it does not even need a woman’s love to hear
its music.
When the Professor had done speaking my husband looked in my
eyes, and I in his, there was no need for speaking between us.
“I answer for Mina and myself,” he said.
“Count me in, Professor,” said Mr. Quincey Morris, laconically
as usual.
“I am with you,” said Lord Godalming, “for Lucy’s sake, if for
no other reason.”
Dr. Seward simply nodded.
The Professor stood up and, after laying his golden crucifix on
the table, held out his hand on either side. I took his right hand,
and Lord Godalming his left, Jonathan held my right with his left
and stretched across to Mr. Morris. So as we all took hands our
solemn compact was made. I felt my heart icy cold, but it did not
even occur to me to draw back. We resumed our places, and Dr. Van
Helsing went on with a sort of cheerfulness which showed that the
serious work had begun. It was to be taken as gravely, and in as
businesslike a way, as any other transaction of life.
“Well, you know what we have to contend against, but we too, are
not without strength. We have on our side power of combination, a
power denied to the vampire kind, we have sources of science, we
are free to act and think, and the hours of the day and the night
are ours equally. In fact, so far as our powers extend, they are
unfettered, and we are free to use them. We have self devotion in a
cause and an end to achieve which is not a selfish one. These
things are much.
“Now let us see how far the general powers arrayed against us
are restrict, and how the individual cannot. In fine, let us
consider the limitations of the vampire in general, and of this one
in particular.
“All we have to go upon are traditions and superstitions. These
do not at the first appear much, when the matter is one of life and
death, nay of more than either life or death. Yet must we be
satisfied, in the first place because we have to be, no other means
is at our control, and secondly, because, after all these things,
tradition and superstition, are everything. Does not the belief in
vampires rest for others, though not, alas! for us, on them! A year
ago which of us would have received such a possibility, in the
midst of our scientific, sceptical, matter-of-fact nineteenth
century? We even scouted a belief that we saw justified under our
very eyes. Take it, then, that the vampire, and the belief in his
limitations and his cure, rest for the moment on the same base.
For, let me tell you, he is known everywhere that men have been. In
old Greece, in old Rome, he flourish in Germany all over, in
France, in India, even in the Chermosese, and in China, so far from
us in all ways, there even is he, and the peoples for him at this
day. He have follow the wake of the berserker Icelander, the
devil-begotten Hun, the Slav, the Saxon, the Magyar.
“So far, then, we have all we may act upon, and let me tell you
that very much of the beliefs are justified by what we have seen in
our own so unhappy experience. The vampire live on, and cannot die
by mere passing of the time, he can flourish when that he can
fatten on the blood of the living. Even more, we have seen amongst
us that he can even grow younger, that his vital faculties grow
strenuous, and seem as though they refresh themselves when his
special pabulum is plenty.
“But he cannot flourish without this diet, he eat not as others.
Even friend Jonathan, who lived with him for weeks, did never see
him eat, never! He throws no shadow, he make in the mirror no
reflect, as again Jonathan observe. He has the strength of many of
his hand, witness again Jonathan when he shut the door against the
wolves, and when he help him from the diligence too. He can
transform himself to wolf, as we gather from the ship arrival in
Whitby, when he tear open the dog, he can be as bat, as Madam Mina
saw him on the window at Whitby, and as friend John saw him fly
from this so near house, and as my friend Quincey saw him at the
window of Miss Lucy.
“He can come in mist which he create, that noble ship’s captain
proved him of this, but, from what we know, the distance he can
make this mist is limited, and it can only be round himself.
“He come on moonlight rays as elemental dust, as again Jonathan
saw those sisters in the castle of Dracula. He become so small, we
ourselves saw Miss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a
hairbreadth space at the tomb door. He can, when once he find his
way, come out from anything or into anything, no matter how close
it be bound or even fused up with fire, solder you call it. He can
see in the dark, no small power this, in a world which is one half
shut from the light. Ah, but hear me through.
“He can do all these things, yet he is not free. Nay, he is even
more prisoner than the slave of the galley, than the madman in his
cell. He cannot go where he lists, he who is not of nature has yet
to obey some of nature’s laws, why we know not. He may not enter
anywhere at the first, unless there be some one of the household
who bid him to come, though afterwards he can come as he please.
His power ceases, as does that of all evil things, at the coming of
the day.
“Only at certain times can he have limited freedom. If he be not
at the place whither he is bound, he can only change himself at
noon or at exact sunrise or sunset. These things we are told, and
in this record of ours we have proof by inference. Thus, whereas he
can do as he will within his limit, when he have his earth-home,his
coffin-home, his hellhome, the place unhallowed, as we saw when he
went to the grave of the suicide at Whitby, still at other time he
can only change when the time come. It is said, too, that he can
only pass running water at the slack or the flood of the tide. Then
there are things which so afflict him that he has no power, as the
garlic that we know of, and as for things sacred, as this symbol,
my crucifix, that was amongst us even now when we resolve, to them
he is nothing, but in their presence he take his place far off and
silent with respect. There are others, too, which I shall tell you
of, lest in our seeking we may need them.
“The branch of wild rose on his coffin keep him that he move not
from it, a sacred bullet fired into the coffin kill him so that he
be true dead, and as for the stake through him, we know already of
its peace, or the cut off head that giveth rest. We have seen it
with our eyes.
“Thus when we find the habitation of this man-that-was, we can
confine him to his coffin and destroy him, if we obey what we know.
But he is clever. I have asked my friend Arminius, of Buda-Pesth
University, to make his record, and from all the means that are, he
tell me of what he has been. He must, indeed, have been that
Voivode Dracula who won his name against the Turk, over the great
river on the very frontier of Turkey-land. If it be so, then was he
no common man, for in that time, and for centuries after, he was
spoken of as the cleverest and the most cunning, as well as the
bravest of the sons of the `land beyond the forest.’ That mighty
brain and that iron resolution went with him to his grave, and are
even now arrayed against us. The Draculas were, says Arminius, a
great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were
held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They
learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over
Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his
due. In the records are such words as `stregoica’ witch, `ordog’
and `pokol’ Satan and hell, and in one manuscript this very Dracula
is spoken of as `wampyr,’which we all understand too well. There
have been from the loins of this very one great men and good women,
and their graves make sacred the earth where alone this foulness
can dwell. For it is not the least of its terrors that this evil
thing is rooted deep in all good, in soil barren of holy memories
it cannot rest.”
Whilst they were talking Mr. Morris was looking steadily at the
window, and he now got up quietly, and went out of the room. There
was a little pause, and then the Professor went on.
“And now we must settle what we do. We have here much data, and
we must proceed to lay out our campaign. We know from the inquiry
of Jonathan that from the castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of
earth, all of which were delivered at Carfax, we also know that at
least some of these boxes have been removed. It seems to me, that
our first step should be to ascertain whether all the rest remain
in the house beyond that wall where we look today, or whether any
more have been removed. If the latter, we must trace … ”
Here we were interrupted in a very startling way. Outside the
house came the sound of a pistol shot, the glass of the window was
shattered with a bullet, which ricochetting from the top of the
embrasure, struck the far wall of the room. I am afraid I am at
heart a coward, for I shrieked out. The men all jumped to their
feet, Lord Godalming flew over to the window and threw up the sash.
As he did so we heard Mr. Morris’ voice without, “Sorry! I fear I
have alarmed you. I shall come in and tell you about it.”
A minute later he came in and said, “It was an idiotic thing of
me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker, most sincerely, I
fear I must have frightened you terribly. But the fact is that
whilst the Professor was talking there came a big bat and sat on
the window sill. I have got such a horror of the damned brutes from
recent events that I cannot stand them, and I went out to have a
shot, as I have been doing of late of evenings, whenever I have
seen one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art.”
“Did you hit it?” asked Dr. Van Helsing.
“I don’t know, I fancy not, for it flew away into the wood.”
Without saying any more he took his seat, and the Professor began
to resume his statement.
“We must trace each of these boxes, and when we are ready, we
must either capture or kill this monster in his lair, or we must,
so to speak, sterilize the earth, so that no more he can seek
safety in it. Thus in the end we may find him in his form of man
between the hours of noon and sunset, and so engage with him when
he is at his most weak.
“And now for you, Madam Mina,this night is the end until all be
well. You are too precious to us to have such risk. When we part
tonight, you no more must question. We shall tell you all in good
time. We are men and are able to bear, but you must be our star and
our hope, and we shall act all the more free that you are not in
the danger, such as we are.”
All the men, even Jonathan, seemed relieved, but it did not seem
to me good that they should brave danger and, perhaps lessen their
safety, strength being the best safety, through care of me, but
their minds were made up, and though it was a bitter pill for me to
swallow, I could say nothing, save to accept their chivalrous care
of me.
Mr. Morris resumed the discussion, “As there is no time to lose,
I vote we have a look at his house right now. Time is everything
with him, and swift action on our part may save another
victim.”
I own that my heart began to fail me when the time for action
came so close, but I did not say anything, for I had a greater fear
that if I appeared as a drag or a hindrance to their work, they
might even leave me out of their counsels altogether. They have now
gone off to Carfax, with means to get into the house.
Manlike, they had told me to go to bed and sleep, as if a woman
can sleep when those she loves are in danger!I shall lie down, and
pretend to sleep, lest Jonathan have added anxiety about me when he
returns.
DR. SEWARD’S DIARY
1 October, 4 a. m.—Just as we were about to leave the house, an
urgent message was brought to me from Renfield to know if I would
see him at once, as he had something of the utmost importance to
say to me. I told the messenger to say that I would attend to his
wishes in the morning, I was busy just at the moment.
The attendant added, “He seems very importunate, sir. I have
never seen him so eager. I don’t know but what, if you don’t see
him soon, he will have one of his violent fits.” I knew the man
would not have said this without some cause, so I said, “All right,
I’ll go now,” and I asked the others to wait a few minutes for me,
as I had to go and see my patient.
“Take me with you, friend John,” said the Professor.”His case in
your diary interest me much, and it had bearing, too, now and again
on our case. I should much like to see him, and especial when his
mind is disturbed.”
“May I come also?” asked Lord Godalming.
“Me too?” said Quincey Morris. “May I come?” said Harker. I
nodded, and we all went down the passage together.
We found him in a state of considerable excitement, but far more
rational in his speech and manner than I had ever seen him. There
was an unusual understanding of himself, which was unlike anything
I had ever met with in a lunatic, and he took it for granted that
his reasons would prevail with others entirely sane. We all five
went into the room, but none of the others at first said anything.
His request was that I would at once release him from the asylum
and send him home. This he backed up with arguments regarding his
complete recovery, and adduced his own existing sanity.
“I appeal to your friends,”he said,”they will, perhaps, not mind
sitting in judgement on my case. By the way, you have not
introduced me.”
I was so much astonished, that the oddness of introducing a
madman in an asylum did not strike me at the moment, and besides,
there was a certain dignity in the man’s manner, so much of the
habit of equality, that I at once made the introduction, “Lord
Godalming, Professor Van Helsing, Mr. Quincey Morris, of Texas, Mr.
Jonathan Harker, Mr. Renfield.”
He shook hands with each of them, saying in turn, “Lord
Godalming, I had the honor of seconding your father at the Windham,
I grieve to know, by your holding the title, that he is no more. He
was a man loved and honored by all who knew him, and in his youth
was, I have heard, the inventor of a burnt rum punch, much
patronized on Derby night. Mr. Morris, you should be proud of your
great state. Its reception into the Union was a precedent which may
have farreaching effects hereafter, when the Pole and the Tropics
may hold alliance to the Stars and Stripes. The power of Treaty may
yet prove a vast engine of enlargement, when the Monroe doctrine
takes its true place as a political fable. What shall any man say
of his pleasure at meeting Van Helsing? Sir, I make no apology for
dropping all forms of conventional prefix. When an individual has
revolutionized therapeutics by his discovery of the continuous
evolution of brain matter, conventional forms are unfitting, since
they would seem to limit him to one of a class. You, gentlemen, who
by nationality, by heredity, or by the possession of natural gifts,
are fitted to hold your respective places in the moving world, I
take to witness that I am as sane as at least the majority of men
who are in full possession of their liberties. And I am sure that
you, Dr. Seward, humanitarian and medico-jurist as well as
scientist, will deem it a moral duty to deal with me as one to be
considered as under exceptional circumstances.”He made this last
appeal with a courtly air of conviction which was not without its
own charm.
I think we were all staggered. For my own part, I was under the
conviction, despite my knowledge of the man’s character and
history, that his reason had been restored, and I felt under a
strong impulse to tell him that I was satisfied as to his sanity,
and would see about the necessary formalities for his release in
the morning. I thought it better to wait, however, before making so
grave a statement, for of old I knew the sudden changes to which
this particular patient was liable. So I contented myself with
making a general statement that he appeared to be improving very
rapidly, that I would have a longer chat with him in the morning,
and would then see what I could do in the direction of meeting his
wishes.
This did not at all satisfy him, for he said quickly, “But I
fear, Dr. Seward, that you hardly apprehend my wish. I desire to go
at once, here, now, this very hour, this very moment, if I may.
Time presses, and in our implied agreement with the old scytheman
it is of the essence of the contract. I am sure it is only
necessary to put before so admirable a practitioner as Dr. Seward
so simple, yet so momentous a wish, to ensure its fulfilment.”
He looked at me keenly, and seeing the negative in my face,
turned to the others, and scrutinized them closely. Not meeting any
sufficient response, he went on, “Is it possible that I have erred
in my supposition?”
“You have,” I said frankly, but at the same time, as I felt,
brutally.
There was a considerable pause, and then he said slowly, “Then I
suppose I must only shift my ground of request. Let me ask for this
concession, boon, privilege, what you will. I am content to implore
in such a case, not on personal grounds, but for the sake of
others. I am not at liberty to give you the whole of my reasons,
but you may, I assure you, take it from me that they are good ones,
sound and unselfish, and spring from the highest sense of duty.
“Could you look, sir, into my heart, you would approve to the
full the sentiments which animate me. Nay, more, you would count me
amongst the best and truest of your friends.”
Again he looked at us all keenly. I had a growing conviction
that this sudden change of his entire intellectual method was but
yet another phase of his madness, and so determined to let him go
on a little longer, knowing from experience that he would, like all
lunatics, give himself away in the end. Van Helsing was gazing at
him with a look of utmost intensity, his bushy eyebrows almost
meeting with the fixed concentration of his look. He said to
Renfield in a tone which did not surprise me at the time, but only
when I thought of it afterwards, for it was as of one addressing an
equal, “Can you not tell frankly your real reason for wishing to be
free tonight? I will undertake that if you will satisfy even me, a
stranger, without prejudice, and with the habit of keeping an open
mind, Dr. Seward will give you, at his own risk and on his own
responsibility, the privilege you seek.”
He shook his head sadly, and with a look of poignant regret on
his face. The Professor went on, “Come, sir, bethink yourself. You
claim the privilege of reason in the highest degree, since you seek
to impress us with your complete reasonableness. You do this, whose
sanity we have reason to doubt, since you are not yet released from
medical treatment for this very defect. If you will not help us in
our effort to choose the wisest course, how can we perform the duty
which you yourself put upon us? Be wise, and help us, and if we can
we shall aid you to achieve your wish.”
He still shook his head as he said, “Dr. Van Helsing, I have
nothing to say. Your argument is complete, and if I were free to
speak I should not hesitate a moment, but I am not my own master in
the matter. I can only ask you to trust me. If I am refused, the
responsibility does not rest with me.”
I thought it was now time to end the scene, which was becoming
too comically grave, so I went towards the door, simply saying,
“Come, my friends, we have work to do. Goodnight.”
As, however, I got near the door, a new change came over the
patient. He moved towards me so quickly that for the moment I
feared that he was about to make another homicidal attack. My
fears, however, were groundless, for he held up his two hands
imploringly, and made his petition in a moving manner. As he saw
that the very excess of his emotion was militating against him, by
restoring us more to our old relations, he became still more
demonstrative. I glanced at Van Helsing, and saw my conviction
reflected in his eyes, so I became a little more fixed in my
manner, if not more stern, and motioned to him that his efforts
were unavailing. I had previously seen something of the same
constantly growing excitement in him when he had to make some
request of which at the time he had thought much, such for
instance, as when he wanted a cat, and I was prepared to see the
collapse into the same sullen acquiescence on this occasion.
My expectation was not realized, for when he found that his
appeal would not be successful, he got into quite a frantic
condition. He threw himself on his knees, and held up his hands,
wringing them in plaintive supplication, and poured forth a torrent
of entreaty, with the tears rolling down his cheeks, and his whole
face and form expressive of the deepest emotion.
“Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore you, to let
me out of this house at once. Send me away how you will and where
you will, send keepers with me with whips and chains, let them take
me in a strait waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to gaol,
but let me go out of this. You don’t know what you do by keeping me
here. I am speaking from the depths of my heart, of my very soul.
You don’t know whom you wrong, or how, and I may not tell. Woe is
me! I may not tell. By all you hold sacred, by all you hold dear,
by your love that is lost, by your hope that lives, for the sake of
the Almighty, take me out of this and save my soul from guilt!
Can’t you hear me, man? Can’t you understand? Will you never learn?
Don’t you know that I am sane and earnest now, that I am no lunatic
in a mad fit, but a sane man fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me!
Hear me! Let me go, let me go, let me go!”
I thought that the longer this went on the wilder he would get,
and so would bring on a fit, so I took him by the hand and raised
him up.
“Come,” I said sternly, “no more of this, we have had quite
enough already. Get to your bed and try to behave more
discreetly.”
He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for several
moments. Then, without a word, he rose and moving over, sat down on
the side of the bed. The collapse had come, as on former occasions,
just as I had expected.
When I was leaving the room, last of our party, he said to me in
a quiet, well-bred voice, “You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the
justice to bear in mind, later on, that I did what I could to
convince you tonight.”