Miles Gloriosus, or The Braggart Captain
Act Four, Scene Three
Enter PYRGOPOLINICES, PALAESTRIO.
PYRGOPOLINICES
What do you advise me now to do, Palaestrio, about my mistress? For this lady can by no means be received into my house before I have sent the other away.
PALAESTRIO
Why consult me on what you are to do? So far as I am concerned, I have told you by what method that can be effected in the gentlest manner. The gold trinkets and female clothing with which you have furnished her, let her keep it all for herself: let her take it, be off, and carry it away: tell her that it is high time for her to go home; say that her twin sister and her mother are come, in company with whom she may go straight home.
PYRGOPOLINICES
How do you know that they are here?
PALAESTRIO
Because, with my own eyes, I’ve seen her sister here.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Have you met her?
PALAESTRIO
I have met her.
PYRGOPOLINICES
And did she seem a brisk wench?
PALAESTRIO
You are wishing to have everything.
PYRGOPOLINICES
Where did the sister say her mother was?
PALAESTRIO
The captain that brought them told me that she was in bed, onboard the ship, with sore and inflamed eyes. This captain of the ship is lodging with them next door.
PYRGOPOLINICES
And he, too, is he a very fine fellow?
PALAESTRIO
Away with you, if you please. What have you[1] to do with him? You have your hands quite full enough with the women. Attend to this for the present.
PYRGOPOLINICES
As to that advice you were giving me, I wish you to have a few words with her upon that subject. For, really, a conversation on that subject with her is more becoming[2] for you.
PALAESTRIO
What is more advisable than for you to go yourself, and transact your own concerns? You must say that it is absolutely necessary for you to marry: that your relations are persuading, your friends are urging, you.
PYRGOPOLINICES
And do you think so?
PALAESTRIO
Why shouldn’t I think so?
PYRGOPOLINICES
I’ll go in, then. Do you, in the meantime, keep watch here before the house, that when the other woman comes out you may call me out.
PALAESTRIO
Do you only mind the business that you are upon?
PYRGOPOLINICES
That, indeed, is resolved upon. For if she will not go out of her own accord, I’ll turn her out by force.
PALAESTRIO
Do you take care how you do that; but rather let her go from your house with a good grace[3], and give her those things that I mentioned. The gold trinkets and apparel, with which you furnished her, let her take away.
PYRGOPOLINICES
By my troth, I wish she would.
PALAESTRIO
I think you’ll easily prevail upon her. But go indoors; don’t linger here.
PYRGOPOLINICES
I obey you. Goes into his house.
PALAESTRIO
to the AUDIENCE. Now, does he really appear to be anything different from what, awhile ago, I told you he was, this wenching Captain? Now it is requisite that Acroteleutium should come to me, her maid too, and Pleusicles. O Jupiter! and does not opportunity favour me in every respect? For those whom I especially wished to see, I perceive at this moment coming out here from our neighbour’s.
- What have you: This passage is somewhat modified above. ↵
- Is more becoming: He thinks it not suitable to his dignity to speak on the subject himself, and therefore wishes to put the task upon Palaestrio. ↵
- With a good grace: “Per gratiam bonam.” “Bonâ gratiâ” was a legal term used in the case of amicable divorces with the consent of both parties. ↵